Are you Feeling Kind of Sunday? NFL 2010 Predictions

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NFL MVP: Aaron Rodgers, Packers
Coach of the Year: John Harbaugh, Ravens
Fantasy MVP (LaDainian Tomlinson Memorial best player category): Ray Rice, Ravens
Fantasy MVP (Ray Rice/Miles Austin Memorial drafted in the teens rounds category): Devin Aromashodu, Bears

AFC Offensive Player of the Year: Ray Rice, Ravens
NFC Offensive Player of the Year: Aaron Rodgers, Packers
AFC Defensive Player of the Year: Tamba Hali, Chiefs
NFC Defensive Player of the Year: Patrick Willis, 49ers
Offensive Rookie of the Year: Dez Bryant, Cowboys
Defensive Rookie of the Year: Sean Weatherspoon, Falcons

Comeback Player of the Year: Brian Urlacher, Bears
Due for a Letdown: Chris Johnson, Titans
Currently unknown player who will be a household name by January: Jacoby Jones, Texans
Star player most likely to be linked to steroids in 2010: Jason Taylor, Jets
Current starting player who will not be an NFL player in 2011 (Brett Favre category): Brett Favre, Vikings. Let's try this one more time, Bretty-boy.
Current starting player who will not be an NFL player in 2011 (non-Brett Favre category): Well, I was gonna go Matt Leinart, Cardinals. But now, he's too easy. Let's say Cadillac Williams, Buccaneers

3 teams to make biggest jump in 2010: Titans, Dolphins, Bears
3 teams to make biggest fall in 2010: Cardinals, Chargers, Bengals
First team to change quarterbacks in 2010: Cardinals. Seriously? Derek Anderson? Seriously?
First team to fire coach in 2010: Jack Del Rio, Jaguars

Best Game of 2010 (divisional): Jets-Patriots, Week 13, Monday night. Redskins-Eagles, Week 4 as an honorable mention. (Obviously, Packers-Vikings games remain overhyped yet always exciting.)
Best Game of 2010 (in-conference): It's so soon, but I kind of like Vikings-Saints on Thursday night. Ravens-Jets to open Monday night is solid as well.
Best Game of 2010 (inter-conference): Steelers-Saints, Week 8. The last two Super Bowl champs? I'm in.
Worst Game of 2010: San Diego-Kansas City. Second straight year they send the Chargers to play one of the AFC West dregs to give Mike & Mike a Week 1 Monday nighter. More like Weak 1.

AFC East champ: New England Patriots
AFC North champ: Baltimore Ravens
AFC South champ: Indianapolis Colts
AFC West champ: Denver Broncos. 9 wins should be enough. You heard me.

NFC East champ: Dallas Cowboys
NFC North champ: Green Bay Packers
NFC South champ: Atlanta Falcons
NFC West champ: San Francisco 49ers. 6 wins should be enough.

AFC wild cards: New York Jets, Tennessee Titans
NFC wild cards: New Orleans Saints, Chicago Bears
Best four teams to miss the playoffs: Dolphins, Vikings, Steelers, Giants
Who will be on the clock for the 2010 Draft No. 1 pick? Bills. Good group of running backs, and the defense isn't horrible, but man, what a monster division Buffalo plays in.

AFC Championship game: Baltimore Ravens beat New England Patriots
NFC Championship game: Dallas Cowboys beat Green Bay Packers
Super Bowl MVP: Tony Romo, Cowboys
Super Bowl XLIV champion:
Dallas 27, Baltimore 13

Super Bowl XLIV picks

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The big game is on, and the picks are in. First, the championship game of the 2nd Annual Jump Around Remix Pick 'Em League Brought To You By Silk Gentlemen's Club:

Sunday, 5 p.m. CST, CBS
(3) Deej Jarvis vs. (4) Ben Worgull
Indianapolis Colts (16-2) vs. New Orleans Saints (15-3)

And for your consideration, here are a guest star list of picks. It's fairly tight right now...

Michael Bleach (Madison, Wisc.): Colts 41-35
Aaron Brenner (Davenport, Iowa): Colts 35-24
David Brenner (Littleton, Colo.): Colts 34-31
Matt Brenner (New Zealand): Saints 35-21
Stewart Brenner (Boynton Beach, Fla.): Saints 35-28
Sue Brenner (Littleton, Colo.): Colts 38-24
Brett Crawford (Bettendorf, Iowa): Saints 35-31
Mark Feeney (Davenport, Iowa): Colts 37-31
Dean Graves (Littleton, Colo.): Colts 38-34
Mason Harris (Boulder, Colo.): Saints 31-24
Rob Hernandez (Madison, Wisc.): Saints 31-27
Justin Petek (Brookfield, Wisc.): Colts 27-24
Andrew Petersen (Davenport, Iowa): Colts 42-34
Margaret Rabida (Corinth, N.Y.): Colts 28-21
Barry Riddle (Parker, Colo.): Saints 24-17
Joseph Rower (Aurora, Colo.): Saints 38-31
Kim Ryerson (Madison, Wisc.): Saints 37-31
Jordan Schelling (Madison, Wisc.): Colts 31-28
Len Shapiro (Boca Raton, Fla.): Colts 38-27
Gerald Smith (Colorado Springs, Colo.): Colts 31-24
Zach Sundelius (Oregon, Wisc.): Colts 34-27
Ben Walnick (Wichita Falls, Texas): Saints 31-27
Paul Walnick (Dallas, Texas): Saints 31-24
Ben Worgull (Madison, Wisc.): Saints 31-27

NFL Picks Week 4 (US Weekly Edition!)

I will lead off with just saying... Thank God I was raised in Texas (See AJ's post below).

Well we are starting this new tradition and I lucked out this week and get to turn in my picks even though I am a co-founder of the blog. Without further ado... my week 4 picks with each pick related to a celebrity.

Detroit at Chicago
Congratulations Detroit on getting your first win since 2007!! You wont be getting number two. No way you travel to Chicago and get a win at Soldier Field. I think Detroit could be described kinda like Gwyneth Paltrow... she was pretty good for awhile back in the day (her Shakespeare in Love era) but then we didn't hear from her for awhile and she made some bad movies (see Shallow Hal and Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow). But she made a strong comeback in Iron Man! Now we just have to see if she can stick around as an A-lister once again. She just wont get it done this week (and by her I mean Detroit).

Cincinnati at Cleveland
Its never a good sign if you are changing quarterbacks before the calendar flips to October. This one is one of the easiest picks, I don't care if this is a rivalry game inside the division... the Browns are bad. And check out the 2-1 Bengals, who (no offense AJ) should be 3-0. They are making a Robert Downey Jr.-esque comeback. They are definitely here to stay.

Seattle at Indy
Peyton doesn't lose at home to inferior teams. He just doesn't. Speaking of injured Matt Hasselback. He led his team to a super bowl appearance but it was a down year for the NFC. What has he really done that is so impressive in his career? Kinda like Ashton Kutcher... he is a real popular guy, his show Punked was pretty cool... but have you ever seen him in a movie that was above average? Maybe Butterfly Effect... but Amy Smart pushed that movie over the mediocre mark. Hasselback is always hurt and just doesn't get me excited about their team.

New York Giants at Kansas City
This is a dud of a game. One of the best teams in the league against one of the worst. Just a mismatch from the start. Which reminds me of a movie called "The Holiday." I was flipping through the movie channels and I stopped on this movie when I saw that Kate Winslet and Jack Black were hooking up. Seriously? Now don't get me wrong, I like Jack Black and Kate isn't like a top ten hot celebrity... not even top 20... but come on. Definitely a mismatch.

Baltimore at New England
Is New England favored purely on history and fame? Baltimore has looked like the best team in football... hands down. I like the Ravens in this game. They have played the Patriots tough in the past and they have the young gunslinger who is actually leading a high scoring offense in Baltimore! Who woulda thunk?
By the way, does Belichick really think he can just trade away or let his veterans leave and still win? This reminds me of the announcement of a Ghostbusters 3 with new actors. Like you can replace Bill Murray, Dan Akroyd and Ivan Reitman and have a good sequel... what genius thinks this is gonna work. It won't work for the Patriots either.

Tampa Bay at Washington (-7)
I have mentioned Kansas City and Cleveland as some of the worst teams this year. These two complete the bottom 4 (maybe Oakland in there somewhere). Two terrible teams... ugh I'll take the home team. But hell no I won't be watching this. This might be worse than watching Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez in Gigli.

Tennessee (-3) at Jacksonville
Desperate playoff team from last year playing on the road in a must-win game against a team that can't fill half their stadium (next to zero fan support). All of this means a Titans win. Jacksonville was good for awhile but now nobody likes them. The same could be said for A-lister Nicolas Cage. He made some great movies back in the late 90s: Con-Air, Face-Off, Gone in 60 Seconds, The Rock. But now... its always *Movie anouncer voice* "Nicolas Cage in enter a disaster movie here where Cage is a badass and has some power or ability that makes him valuable... this movie is terrible but people will see it because it's Nicolas Cage!" I hate him... and I think people are more in my boat than people that like him. Same goes for you Jaguars... you suck.Oakland at Houston
Al Davis has ruined a great franchise. Very easy pick here. Al Davis cracks me up with his old age and complete loss of control of his franchise. Its not the identical situation with Clint Eastwood, but he CRACKED ME UP in Gran Torino because he was so old and ridiculous but also so badass.

New York Jets at New Orleans (-7)
How is this spread 7? Should be 3. I'll be taking the Jets solely because this should be a great game and I want a chance at double the points because the Jets are such a big dog. Sanchez is like Jamie Foxx in Any Given Sunday... except he is white and not exactly a very mobile QB. But he has injected some excitement in J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS land. Just like Beamen did with the Miami Sharks.

Buffalo (-2) at Miami
Cry baby T.O finally gets a win. By the way, has there been a bigger rollercoaster than the Miami Dolphins. 1-15, then 11-5, and then what... probably 4-12? I haven't seen this big of a swing since Britney Spears popularity! Ba-da-Ching.... ok that joke has been so overused but it works... so go with it.

St. Louis at San Francisco
Good teams tend to rebound well, especially against awful teams (thats now 6 REALLY REALLY bad teams). The 49ers will have a nice rebound, but it does not rival the rebound of Justin Timberlake after he broke up with Britney... hitting up Jessica Biel and Scarlett Johanson in a 2-week span... SOLID!

Dallas at Denver
Dallas lost to a top-5 team by a field goal when they lost the turnover battle 4-0. I like my team and I'm sure AJ likes his... but they should have lost to Cinnci and beat... *gulp* Oakland and Kansas City. The Broncos WILL make the playoffs as division winners this year... but they don't beat the Cowboys on Sunday. Denver is the most handsome team in an ugly division. They are the Vince Vaughn of the Swingers group.

San Diego at Pittsburgh
Two teams that everyone thought would be powerhouses this year... that may not make the playoffs. I'll go with the home team here. Meanwhile Ben Rothlisberger is getting his Roman Polanski on. I just don't buy it though... I gotta think this is more of a Kobe Bryant thing. No way she wasn't willing to pounce on "Big" Ben.

Green Bay at Minnesota

I don't think either quarterback performs that well. Two really good defenses. My boy AD will do alright. I just think Farve can pull another moment if he needs to in order to stick it to Packers management. This is a year of destiny. I do feel bad for Rodgers though. I'm not the biggest Farve fan, but he is/was an all-time gunslinger. It's like trying to replace Sean Connery as James Bond... its a lose-lose situation for Rodgers. He is going to be a different type of quarterback and not a small-town down-to-earth (and selfish) guy like Farve. Whether he is Roger Moore or Pierce Brosnan... he is no Sean Connery.

Stay Classy,

B-Dubs

Tom Lea puts his NFL Pick 'em fate in the hands of Jay-Z, Phil Collins and Neil Diamond

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You've heard the saying, 'you keep eating those muffins, I'll keep baking them'? Well, if Tom Lea keeps churning out these ridiculously hilarious, off-the-cuff and sometimes insightful rationale columns for how he makes his weekly NFL picks, I'll keep posting them. I go to Tom Lea for my obscure music references. -AJ

Okay, obviously last week’s picks did not go the way I wanted them to. Not only did I finish last in my division last week in my 30-team pick ‘em league, but I did so with some really dumb picks. I blame it on the swine flu.

Anyway, this week I have a new plan to launch the comeback. And I am going to utilize some help from my 1,066-song strong iTunes library.

So basically because I am God-awful at correctly picking the right outcome with these games, I figured I could use all the help I can get.

So, my iTunes shuffle is on, and I am just going to randomly tie in every pick I make to whatever song pops up. Yes I expect to be fully embarrassed, and no, I will not be ashamed of it.

Let’s see how this goes.

GREEN BAY over St. Louis

Wow … iTunes didn’t waste any time starting off with a monster hit from the 80’s. Alright, I can work with this.

Yeah, the Packers line is horrendous, awful, despicable, vile and just straight crappy. But as Corey Hart would be the first to point out … they will ‘Never Surrender.’

Sure, they lost to a Cincinnati team that tried everything in its power to blow another game they had no business losing. Obviously that first game against Denver was the fluke of all flukes, but props to them for coming into Green Bay and knocking off the Pack.

Unfortunately, the result in Lambeau from a week ago will do nothing but piss off a Packers team that is ready to prove everyone wrong. Let’s just let Mr. Hart take us home with his lyrical genius. (Tongue very much in cheek with that comment)

“No one can take away your right to fight and never surrender.”

Pack wins going away.

MINNESOTA over San Francisco

I knew Phil Collins would make an appearance in this thing. I guess when you have 54 of his songs, it’s simply bound to happen.

Don’t get me wrong, I love everything about the 49ers. I love their jersey, their colors, their running back and their coach. And most importantly, I know they are 2-0 and Frank Gore looks poised to rip through the NFC West and elevate his game to another level.

But, I just don’t think we’ll see them go into that atrocious dump they call a stadium in Minneapolis and leave with a win.

To San Fran: “I see your true colors shining through. I see your true colors, that’s why I love you. So don’t be afraid to let them shine. Just show your true colors.”

Unfortunately, I think San Fran’s true colors reek of an overrated team ready to collapse. I hope they prove me wrong.

ATLANTA over New England

New England is old and simply not that good anymore. I know this will definitely come back and bite me in the ass, but I really think it’s true. The Patriots should have lost to Buffalo, and the Jets defense completely shut them down.

Meanwhile, Atlanta is a young and exciting team on the rise. Matt Ryan looks like the real deal and Tony Gonzalez is still doing his thing even though he’s, what, 75 years old now? Pretty impressive.

I think the days of the New England dynasty are over. Randy Moss is slowly starting to come out of his PG-rated front he’s put on since arriving in Boston and is about to explode in an expletive-laden tirade or simply moon the Foxboro faithful. They are falling apart and falling apart fast. So, clearly, if they want to right this ship, they should probably converse with a higher power.

“Tell me all your thoughts on God. Cause I’d really like to meet her. Ask her why we’re who we are.”

I think her response would have something to do with them being a bunch of has-beens with a weak defense.

(And at this very moment, I am sticking my foot into my mouth.)

TENNESSEE over New York Jets

Fitting that a song from Jay-Z’s new album would come up. I have done nothing but listen to this over the past two weeks. It's truly good stuff. Anyway, 'Venus vs. Mars' is a tough one.

Tennessee has looked awful and I believe the Jets are highly ready for a letdown. I know the defense is terrible, but I think the Titan offense will do some things against the Jets, especially in the red zone.

“Shawty get it in…”

I told you this was tough … and when the song has obvious sexual under and overtones, I need to cut that one off quick.

PHILADELPHIA over Kansas City

Fitting that Kelly Rowland and Nelly’s classic 'Dilemma' would come on for this one. How are the Eagles going to use Mike Vick? I have no idea, but I am very intrigued. Maybe Nelly says it best:

“And in no time, I’m gonna make this friend mine. And that’s for sure. Cause I, I never been the type to break up a happy home.”

Just picture Vick singing that to McNabb. It fits perfectly into the situation.

Even though I don’t trust Kevin Kolb, Kansas City is just too weak. Eagles roll.

NEW YORK GIANTS over Tampa Bay

Clearly I have 'Too Much Time On My Hands'. Giants will dominate the Buccos.

CLEVELAND over Baltimore

Here’s my upset special. How can you not like a team that has looked everything short of death in its first two games. Now, you have a rookie throwing both ice cubes and punches at his teammates.

“Don’t forget that boy I told ya, get that dirt off your shoulders.”

Or just throw ice around … I don’t care. The Browns will win. Count it.

HOUSTON over Jacksonville

Good timing, Shuffle … Texas is the home of country music, isn’t it?

I like Houston for all the wrong reasons. They have great talent on the team, but I live and die by the play of Matt Schaub, Owen Daniels and Kris Brown each week with my fantasy team.
Of course, the time when Schaub and Daniels go off, I take them out of my lineup. That won’t happen again. Oh yeah, and Jacksonville is horrible. Houston will win.

Please just “Don’t tell my heart, my achy breaky heart,” if you were to lose, Texans. “I just don’t think it’d understand.”

DETROIT over Washington

Wait for it … wait … be patient … hold on … aaaaaaaannnnnnnnddddddd. Yup, it’s official. I’m picking the Lions. (AJ's note: don't go TOO nuts, Tom. 13 of 18 people who have their picks in so far have Detroit.)

Damn it, of all the songs that could have played, 'Over My Head' by the Fray had to come on now … It’s a sign. And that’s why I suck at this. (AJ's note: no disagreement here)

CHICAGO over Seattle

With Hasselbeck hurting, I don’t see anyway the Bears lose. Cutler looked like he rebounded after a terrible first game and the Bears offense looks somewhat capable of moving the ball.

“Hands. Touching hands. Reaching out. Touching me. Touching you … Sweet Caroline (BUM BUM BUM), good times never seem so good.”

Don’t get used to these current good times, Chicago. They’re not going to last.

NEW ORLEANS over Buffalo

I don’t think it matters who they play, because when the Saints put up 482 points a game, it’s tough to beat them.

I think Drew Brees says something like this in the huddle every time the offense takes the field:

“Imma take you there, Imma take you there, so don’t be scared, I’m right here baby. We can go anywhere, go anywhere, but first, here’s your chance, take my hand.”

Hell, if I threw 5 touchdowns a game, I would dance 'Forever' too.

CINCINNATI over Pittsburgh

I’m on the Bengals bandwagon. “You all don’t understand, make me throw my hands in the Ayer, a, ayer, ayer, a, ayer.”

Anytime you come in and beat my Packers in Lambeau, I’ll drink that Kool-aid.

MIAMI over San Diego

Miami should have beat the Colts. Ronnie Brown is legit and the Chargers defense is shaky at best. Thus, Miami will win.

And plus, I am slowly starting to gain some trust in Pennington. But, as the great Phil Collins once told me - and yes, this is his second appearance in this article - 'You Can’t Hurry Love.'

I’m taking it slow.

DENVER over Oakland

Who would have ever thought that Denver would be playing for a 3-0 start. And man, if the Raiders win, Al Davis might just break out in song because his team would actually have a winning record.

But the Broncos will squash that idea quickly, leaving Davis to sing about the past.

“I used to rule the world. Seas would rise when I gave the word. Now in the morning I sleep alone. Sweep the streets I used to own.”

Coldplay is so versatile.

ARIZONA over Indy

Simply put, 'Dream On', Indy. You’re not going to stop those Cardinal wide receivers.

DALLAS over Carolina

What, since they have a new stadium, does Dallas get to play in every night game?

I really don’t like the Cowboys, but Carolina is just not that good. The Panthers will just be 'Another one (that) Bites the Dust.'

And with that, I’m out.

The Complete 'Tom Lea Musical Guide To Making NFL Picks and Reaching Your Pick 'Em Glory ... Except The Complete Opposite", now in stores (except not), includes the following songs:
-Never Surrender by Corey Hart
-True Colors by Phil Collins
-Counting Blue Cars by Dishwalla
-Venus vs. Mars by Jay-Z
-Dilemma by Nelly and Kelly Rowland
-Too Much Time on My Hands by Styx
-Dirt Off Ya Shoulder by Jay-Z
-Achy Breaky Hart by Billy Ray Cyrus aka Hannah Montana's Dad
-Cable Car (Over My Head) by The Fray (Denver, what what)
-Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond
-Forever by Chris Brown
-In the Ayer by Flo Rida
-You Can't Hurry Love by Phil Collins
-Viva La Vida by Coldplay
-Dream On by Aerosmith
-Another One Bites the Dust by Queen

For the record, the following songs came on AJ's shuffle while re-posting this:
-Banter #3 by Dane Cook
-I Should Be by Dru Hill
-Keep the Faith by Bon Jovi
-Always on Time by Ja Rule and Ashanti
-U Don't Have to Call by Usher
-Miserable by Lit
-Home by Switchfoot
-Without Me by Eminem

That's a 2-disc, 24-song set. If you really want that as a collection...uh...I guess send $3.99 our way, and we'll make you a mix CD. If you really want.
-AJ

Week 2 NFL Picks

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In 20 words or less, AJ's picks for the weekend (home team in CAPS):

The fish monster's team looks tough. USC backup boy's team does not
Raiders over CHIEFS

Steve Slaton, Andre Johnson and Owen Daniels? Too much for even the Titans
Texans over TITANS

I realize New England has defensive issues. Nothing like facing a rookie quarterback to fix those
Patriots over JETS

OK, I'll be a sonofabitch and re-quote what everyone else already said: "Child please!"
PACKERS over Bengals

Upset special of the week. Lions always play the Vikes tough at home
LIONS over Vikings

Drew Brees tosses another four, Kevin Kolb not good enough to match
Saints over EAGLES

Because my next-door neighbor and friend, T.J., might kill himself if the Dirties don't
FALCONS over Panthers

Will the Rams EVER be relevant again?
REDSKINS over Rams

Have fun playing a 10 am local time game, defending NFC champs
JAGUARS over Cardinals

Tough call here. Solid game potential. I like the experience over the frisky
Seahawks over 49ERS

Desperate team has gotta win here, or things are gonna get real ugly in western NY
BILLS over Bucs

Denver ALWAYS starts 2-0, builds up excitement...and then falls flat. Sunrise, sunset
BRONCOS over Browns

San Diego ALWAYS starts slowly. So why this pick? SD should be learning from this by now
CHARGERS over Ravens

Flip-flopped on this one. But Pittsburgh pass rush + sieve Chicago O-Line = battered Cutler
Steelers over BEARS

Oh, because it's the home opener, Cowboys CAN'T lose? Ummm...G-Men are pretty good, ya know
Giants over COWBOYS

Peyton Manning over an overrated team. One more time, since 85's from Miami: "Child please!"
Colts over DOLPHINS

-AJ

NFL 2009 Preview, Part IV

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And finally, for your reading pleasure...B-Dubs' picks for this season. No homerism or anything.

NFL MVP: I picked this before he ran for 180 and 3 TD's ... Adrian Peterson, Minnesota
Coach of the Year: Jim Mora, Jr., Seattle
Fantasy MVP (LaDainian Tomlinson Memorial best player category): Adrian Peterson
Fantasy MVP (Chris Johnson Memorial drafted in the teens rounds category): Patrick Crayton, Dallas (I know I'm a homer... but without TO he shines!)

AFC Offensive Player of the Year: Tom Brady, New England (and Gisele of course)
NFC Offensive Player of the Year: Adrian Peterson
AFC Defensive Player of the Year: James Harrison, Pittsburgh
NFC Defensive Player of the Year: Justin Tuck, New York Giants
Offensive Rookie of the Year: Matthew Stafford, Detroit (Dallas area product)
Defensive Rookie of the Year: Aaron Curry, Seattle (Duh)

Comeback Player of the Year: Osi Umeniyora, New York Giants
Goaway Player of the Year (opposite of above award): Jay Cutler, Chicago
Currently unknown player who will be a household name by January: DeMeco Ryans, Houston (MLB for Texans... beast)
Star player most likely to be linked to steroids in 2009: Patrick Willis, San Francisco
Current starting player who will not be an NFL player in 2010 (Brett Favre category): Brett Favre, Minnesota
Current starting player who will not be an NFL player in 2010 (non-Brett Favre category): Shawne Merriman, San Diego

Team to make biggest jump in 2009: Seattle Seahawks
Team to make biggest fall in 2009: Arizona Cardinals
First team to change quarterbacks in 2009: Houston Texans
First team to fire coach in 2009: Oakland Raiders (easiest pick so far)

Best Game of 2009 (divisional): Vikings-Packers... a lot of bad blood before Farve... now its gonna be nuts
Best Game of 2009 (in-conference): Patriots-Colts in November
Best Game of 2009 (inter-conference): Steelers-Packers in December

AFC East champ: Patriots
AFC North champ: Steelers
AFC South champ: Colts
AFC West champ: Chargers (No surprises there)

NFC West champ: Seahawks
NFC North champ: Vikings
NFC South champ: Falcons
NFC East champ: Giants

AFC wild cards: Jaguars, Ravens
NFC wild cards: Eagles, Packers
Best four teams to miss the playoffs: Saints, Panthers, Cowboys, Dolphins
Who will be on the clock for the 2010 NFL Draft No. 1 pick? Rams

AFC Championship game: Steelers beat Patriots
NFC Championship game: Vikings beat Eagles
Super Bowl MVP: Adrian Peterson (150 all purpose yards and a TD)
Super Bowl XLIV champion: Vikings defeat Steelers 23-17

In summary, I think Adrian Peterson goes from a superstar to a pantheon-type player. He is a beast (see commercial below). I truly think he can break the all-time season rushing record this season with a competent QB at the helm. It’s hard to find many flaws in the Vikings and I think they can edge out a powerful Steelers team (if they can overcome the early loss of Polamalu).

NFL 2009 Preview, Part III

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Less than 15 hours to kickoff!!!

Part III, just straight-up season picks. No need for explanation. Here we go.

NFL MVP: Peyton Manning, Indianapolis
Coach of the Year: Rex Ryan, New York Jets

Fantasy MVP (LaDainian Tomlinson Memorial best player category): Adrian Peterson, Minnesota. Just because it’s plain doesn’t mean it won’t happen
Fantasy MVP (Chris Johnson Memorial drafted in the teens rounds category): James Davis, Cleveland

AFC Offensive Player of the Year: Philip Rivers, San Diego
NFC Offensive Player of the Year: Drew Brees, New Orleans
AFC Defensive Player of the Year: Ed Reed, Baltimore
NFC Defensive Player of the Year: Jared Allen, Minnesota
Offensive Rookie of the Year: Knowshon Moreno, Denver. Had to pick something good for the Broncos.
Defensive Rookie of the Year: Aaron Curry, Seattle

Comeback Player of the Year: Carson Palmer, Cincinnati
Due for a Letdown: Larry Fitzgerald, Arizona
Currently unknown player who will be a household name by January: Glen Coffee, San Francisco. Davis from the Browns also applies.
Star player most likely to be linked to steroids in 2009: Brett Favre, Minnesota. You think I’m kidding. I'm not kidding.
Current starting player who will not be an NFL player in 2010 (Brett Favre category): Brett Favre, Minnesota
Current starting player who will not be an NFL player in 2010 (non-Brett Favre category): Fred Taylor, New England

3 teams to make biggest jump in 2009: Detroit, Seattle, Green Bay
3 teams to make biggest fall in 2009: Miami, Carolina, Tampa Bay
First team to change quarterbacks in 2009: Miami. Time to see what Chad Henne and/or Pat White have got. Carolina (Josh McCown) is another possibility.
First team to fire coach in 2009: Buffalo. The Bills will be 2-6 at the bye week, and Dick Jauron will be dismissed.

Best Game of 2009 (divisional): Minnesota-Green Bay, Week 8. There are NO other choices
Best Game of 2009 (in-conference): New England-Indianapolis, Week 10
Best Game of 2009 (inter-conference): Either Philly-San Diego, Week 10 or Baltimore-Green Bay, Week 13
Worst Game of 2009: San Diego-Oakland (why is this game on Monday night? No, seriously…why?)

AFC East champ: New England
AFC North champ: Baltimore
AFC South champ: Indianapolis
AFC West champ: San Diego

NFC East champ: Philadelphia
NFC North champ: Green Bay
NFC South champ: New Orleans
NFC West champ: Seattle

AFC wild cards: Pittsburgh, New York Jets
NFC wild cards: Atlanta, Minnesota
Best four teams to miss the playoffs: New York Giants, Chicago, Jacksonville, San Francisco
Who will be on the clock for the 2010 Draft No. 1 pick? Tampa Bay. Oakland’s division is bad enough, and Detroit should be improved enough, but the Raiders and Lions are good choices too.

AFC Championship game: San Diego over Baltimore
NFC Championship game: Philadelphia over Green Bay
Super Bowl MVP: DeSean Jackson, WR
Super Bowl XLIV champion:

Philadelphia 31, San Diego 20

Have a good one, everybody. Enjoy one of the best days of the sports year!

-AJ

NFL 2009 Preview, Part II

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I lied. Three-part NFL preview? What do you think we are, nuts?!?!

We gotta go at least 4.

Here's Tom Lea with his Week 1 picks. Still to come: B-dubs and AJ with a season preview for the greatest league on earth, the National Football League.

Have at it, Tom. And way to use the same opening line as I did in the Part I post, haha. This was written Thursday evening, before the Titans-Steelers game.
-AJ

And so it begins.

Just a measly seven hours separate me from the (real) kickoff to the wonderful season of blocking, punting, groaning, bitching, whining, winning, Chad Ochocinco, beer drinking, hilarity, and Lendale White-dropping-30-pounds-after-dumping-Patron version of NFL football.

It’s been a long summer. The Brewers suck, my golf game sucks, not being a college student anymore sucks and having a job that pays just a tad more than a gas station attendant sucks. So, thank you, Mr. Goodell, for letting your league start tonight ... I need something to get me off.

By the way … Brett Favre sucks something harder than all of my life's suckiness combined.

So, without further ado, here are my picks for Week 1. And yes, I am expecting to get a multitude of bonus points for getting my picks in three days early. And yes, I plan on having an oh-fer at some point this season. C’mon, that was one of the highlights of this pick ‘em league a season ago.

THURSDAY NIGHT

Pittsburgh over Tennessee

Remember the last time a stud athlete was hit with sexual assault allegations? Oh, who am I kidding. I only had to listen to all those Eagle, Colo. references as the Lakers deposited the Nuggets into the bank of have a nice off-season last spring. (Editor's note: Fuck you, Tom.)

Anyway, my point is that Kobe Bryant led his team to the championship following that episode. Granted they got bumrushed by the Detroit Thugs (Pistons) in the finals, but the point is they made the finals.

So, I am picking the Steelers in week one and yes, I am calling it right now, the Steelers will return to the Super Bowl this season. They won’t win it, but they’ll get there. You’ll see who my NFC pick for Super Bowl contention and ultimate championship is later on in this piece.

And to Ben Roethlisberger…..I believe you. We just can’t trust women these days.

SUNDAY (aka the best day EVER)

Miami over Atlanta

What better way to start the opening Sunday than to do it with an upset pick. It’s kind of minor, but hell, it’s how I pick. It’s the Lea way.

Chad Pennington may have a noodle for an arm, but anytime that noodle transforms a 1-15 team to a playoff team in a division the Patriots play in, I will pick him over the Falcons any day of the week. Plus, Matty Ice is poised for a sophomore slump and he will kick that shitshow off in week one.

Baltimore over Kansas City

No-brainer….

Philadelphia over Carolina

McNabb, though he is the one who wanted Vick, feels the dog killer nipping at his heels.
He will be drowning in emotion at the start of the game only to see it hanging in the balance with a beaten up offensive line on the final drive. He’ll get it done with an electrifying performance in the fourth quarter en route to giving the Eagles the win.

Denver over Cincinnati

I have been watching Hard Knocks on HBO, and as disoriented as the Broncos are, believe me, the Bungals are just as bad, if not worse. This may be shocking to you, but in Orton I trust.

Minnesota over Cleveland

I thought about not picking the Vikings all year, but I decided against it. Favre throws 3 touchdowns and 2 picks en route to an easy 31-14 win. Excuse me, but I need to go vomit.

...

...

...


...


...


Okay, I’m back.

Houston over New York Jets

When it’s over, Houston will be the one delivering any Dirty Sanchez’s.

Jacksonville over Indy

Here’s another upset pick … call me stupid you will, but try me once, you’ll have to try me again twice. Wait, how does that go? I’m confused. (Editor's Note: what else is new)

New Orleans over Detroit

Believe me, I’ll be the first one in this damn thing to get the Lions' first win in 13 years correct. Count it.

Tampa Bay over Dallas

Yes, the Bucs fired their offensive coordinator. Yes, they have 31 quarterbacks on their roster. Yes, the Cowboys have “Mr. Dreamy” Tomo (See what I did there). But this will come down to a critical punt hitting the 3,000-foot long TV Mr. Jones put up above the field. Wait, I’m getting a call….

I guess it’s not in Dallas……fuck it. Go Bucs Go.

Arizona over San Fran

I’m not even wasting my time. Crabtree with 8 catches for 210 yards and 3 touchdowns…….

The GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MEN over Washington

I don’t care, just wanted to type that out.

Seattle over St. Louis

Oh, how I love Interleague play. Pujols will go 3-5 with 2 dingers. Ichiro will have 2,183 hits, but the Cardinals still win 8-4 … Oh shit, this is football?

I guess Seattle will take it.

The Pack over Da Bears

And here they are … S.U.P.E.R. B.O.W.L. champions … I’ll leave it up to you to decipher if I’m talking Packers or Bears.

MONDAY NIGHT

New England over Buffalo

I hear this Tom Brady character is back. Personally, I thought Drew Henson was better.

San Diego over Oakland

Merriman is just going to choke out the opponents.

There you have it. Sorry for cutting it off so soon, but I have six proud fantasy franchises to attend to.

Until next week,

Tom

NFL 2009 PREVIEW, Part I

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And so it begins...


The road to Super Bowl XLIV begins today, when the Tennessee Titans play the defending World Champion Pittsburgh Steelers in a contest in which even the towels aren't safe from harm.

Here at The Other B.S. Report (name to change again soon, in all likelihood. Don't wanna get sued by the Sports Guy's lawyers), we're looking at a three-part NFL season 2009 preview. The first segment has been so kindly provided by Quad-City Times six-pointer DJ Jarvis, who seems certain that Jay Cutler is the second coming. The second coming of what, I'm not personally sure. Could be of this guy, for all we know.

But I digress. B-dubs and AJ's preview coming before Sunday. Take it away, DJ.

Projected 2009 NFL Standings

NFC North
1. Chicago 11-5
2. Green Bay 10-6
3. Minnesota 9-7
4. Detroit 1-15
Other Predictions: Four 1,000-yard backs (Matt Forte, Ryan Grant, Adrian Peterson, Kevin Smith) and two 1,000-yard receivers (Greg Jennings, Earl Bennett) come out of the NFC North. Brett Favre throws more picks than touchdowns. And even though he will rush for 1,000 yards, Peterson will have a down year.

NFC East
1. Philadelphia 11-5
2. Dallas 8-8
3. New York Giants 8-8
4. Washington 6-10
Other Predictions: Like the North, every team will have a 1,000-yard back (Brian Westbrook, Marion Barber, Brandon Jacobs and/or Ahmad Bradshaw, Clinton Portis). Donovan McNabb will have one last great season. Michael Vick will catch 50 passes and score at least 5 TDs.

NFC South
1. New Orleans 12-4
2. Atlanta 10-6
3. Carolina 9-7
4. Tampa Bay 5-11
Other Predictions: Reggie Bush gets 2,000 all-purpose yards.

NFC West
1. Seattle 11-5
2. Arizona 9-7
3. St. Louis 6-10
4. San Francisco 3-13
Other Predictions: Kurt Warner is hurt by Week 5, but Matt Leinart carries them to a solid season. Michael Crabtree finally signs, and carries the Niners to wins in 3 of the last 4 games.

AFC North
1. Pittsburgh 11-5
2. Baltimore 8-8
3. Cincinnati 7-9
4. Cleveland 2-14
Other Predictions: Eric Mangini quits as head coach of the Browns during the season. Carson Palmer and Chad Ochocinco have a great year, but can't get over the .500 mark.

AFC East
1. New England 14-2
2. Miami 9-7
3. Buffalo 7-9
4. New York Jets 7-9
Other Predictions: Mark Sanchez has a good rookie season, but falls short of the playoffs. Tom Brady has an MVP year, he and Randy Moss hook up for 20 TDs to lead the Pats to the league's best record.

AFC South
1. Houston 10-6
2. Indianapolis 9-7
3. Tennessee 9-7
4. Jacksonville 5-11
Other Predictions: Torry Holt still has it. Andre Johnson tears the South up. Vince Young carries the Titans after Kerry Collins can't cut it.

AFC West
1. San Diego 10-6
2. Kansas City 7-9
3. Denver 6-10
4. Oakland 2-14
Other Predictions: LaDainian Tomlinson rushes for almost 2,000 yards. Matt Cassel shows that he isn't a terrible quarterback. Kyle Orton and Brandon Marshall do well, but defense lets them down. Oakland is Oakland.

PLAYOFFS

Wild Card Round
Houston def. Indianapolis
San Diego def. Miami
Atlanta def. Seattle
Green Bay def. Philadelphia

Divisional Round
Pittsburgh def. Houston
New England def. San Diego
Chicago def. Atlanta
Green Bay def. New Orleans

Conference Championship
New England def. Pittsburgh
Chicago def. Green Bay

Super Bowl XLIV
New England def. Chicago, 35-17
Super Bowl MVP: Randy Moss, 175 yards, 3 TDs
-DJ Jarvis

Why the Badgers might (emphasis on, MIGHT) actually win the Big Ten and more College Football Preview

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Wait a second. I'm confused.

(And save the "you're always confused jokes...I'm only walking around confused 63 percent of the time.)

Why ARE the Wisconsin Badgers getting zero love from college football nation?


Try and remember, I'm not a Wisconsin "fan", per se. I want the team to do well, sure - I mean, it was always more enjoyable writing about a successful team during my 4 years in Wisconsin, the last three spent covering the football team. Besides, with more wins come more fan support, and thus more people reading your articles and what not. So naturally, now that I'm away from Madison, it's easier to support the team's success. But I still maintain that same sense of non-bias, trying to view all things Wisconsin with an objective eye.

That being said...I think this IS the year Wisconsin returns to prominence. Not completely, but this year marks the start.

The quarterback situation has never been better since Brooks Bollinger left in 2003 - I mean, did I actually see Scott Tolzien making plays last night? Never saw Evridge or Sherer or Donovan do that, and I would even argue that while John Stocco was grossly underappreciated and a good game manager, he's not exactly your sling-it-around kind of QB. As highly touted as Curt Phillips is, it says something that Scott Tolzien - donning my favorite football number, 16 - beat him out for the starting gig. Plus, Phillips is a viable option to take snaps and make plays with his legs.

John Clay is still John Clay, a bustout star waiting to happen. And just like the QBs, it must say something that Zach Brown is being considered the starter.

The wide receivers...my goodness, the wide receivers. We all know Nick Toon could rack up 1,000 yards this year, but how about Isaac Anderson? Maurice Moore looks solid too, and David Gilreath is still around, though his being shoved down the depth chart could positively impact his, uh, impact on special teams. (In the words of Bill Simmons, I swear that made sense when I wrote it.) Plus, Garrett Graham and Lance Kendricks should make sure the loss of Travis Beckum isn't too hard. Besides, Beckum missed most of last year anyway, so, you know, nbd.

Throw in the already solid special teams (let's hope Welch's worst night of the year was last night - two missed FGs and an extra point banged off the upright and in), and a defense that appears better than expected (O'Brien Schofield could be a BEAST, plus Mike Taylor and Chris Maragos made big plays last night), and...uh...yeah, why aren't the Badgers getting more respect?

Oh, yeah, they play in the Big Ten Conference.

No qualms there, really. The Big Ten doesn't "appear" to be down, Big Ten Network anchors slash fools and jesters. (Side note: now that I'm watching these games on TV, I'm realizing that the Big Ten Network is painfully bad. I love the principle, and it's nice to get more coverage to flyover state teams, but their programming is fairly pathetic.) The Big Ten IS down. It just is. Hey Ohio State and Iowa, seriously, it's okay to blow out Navy and Northern Iowa at home. Yo Minnesota, for all that talk of being so improved, it's not too impressive when you need overtime to beat a team with five wins in the last two years and is being led by a BASKETBALL POINT GUARD who's a nice story, but hasn't played football in five years. And Illinois? Hi. News flash: the season started. Yeah, it did. Yesterday. When you went out and got punked by Mizzou? (Yes, I'm a Mizzou fan, but still, humor me.) Maybe you want to show up for your nationally-televised opener and not let the Big XII have more ammo than it already has.

But therein lies my exact point with Wisconsin, and the No. 1 reason it's back: the SCHEDULE. Those four non-conference games - NIU, Fresno State, Wofford, and at Hawaii - are four guaranteed wins. Then you've got a Big Ten schedule highlighted by a visit to Columbus and...

...

...

um...

at Minnesota? Home for Michigan State or Iowa?

Please, somebody tell me why the Badgers CAN'T go 11-1 with that schedule. Sure, they'll go to a bowl game above their heads and get punked there, but the fan base has to be pleased with 11-1, right?

What I like about the result of last night's game is that national pundits will see the score - 28-20 over Northern Illinois - and think, oh, another Big Ten team barely surviving a lower-end team. But honestly, Wisconsin played MUCH better than that score indicates. It's a young team, it'll grow up and learn how to play 60 minutes. It's also a fairly beaten-up team right now (no starting center, no backup defensive ends to spell Schofield and Watt, no backup safeties due to suspension), so that situation will improve. If King Bielema can make better personnel and in-game decisions this season - which can only go up after the 2008 debacle - there's no reason why Wisconsin can't shock some people this season. And as I've been saying for about a year and a half...basically the ENTIRE offense returns in 2010. That's when I believe the Badgers are a down Terrelle Pryor year away from WINNING the Big Ten Conference, for sure.

As for 2009, I see them losing in Columbus, and possibly even at home to the Spartans. But that's it.

Write it down: the Badgers will win double digit games this year.

And with that, some final predictions that I swear weren't affected by yesterday's action:

Big Ten champ (runners-up): Michigan State (Penn State, with the Buckeyes and Badgers right behind)
Big XII: Texas (Oklahoma...better get well soon, Sammy...and Oklahoma State)
ACC: Florida State (Miami or Virginia Tech)
Big East: West Virginia (Pittsburgh or Rutgers)
Pac-10: USC (Cal and Oregon)
SEC: Florida (Georgia and Ole Miss)
Top Four BCS Busters: Brigham Young, Boise State, Central Florida and Tulsa (that's right, Tulsa)
Heisman Winner: Jesus-Man slash Tim Tebow (who else?)
Runners-up: Scott Tolzien. OK, no, kidding. Let's go Colt McCoy, Jahvid Best and Dez Bryant.
Which non-BCS team not from Idaho or Utah could crash the BCS party? Central Michigan
Which currently ranked team will not make a bowl game? North Carolina
Best BCS team to get left out of the BCS party: Alabama
BCS title game: Florida over Texas

Look for our MEGA-NFL season preview later this week. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to buy Rose Bowl tickets.

-AJ

The Morning Report, Vol. 1

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Ah, the first Saturday of college football. A tasty appetizer before the MAIN COURSE WHICH IS NOW JUST EIGHT DAYS AWAY WEEK 1 OF NFL WEEK 1 OF NFL OMIGOD OMIGOD...

Sorry about that. It's too early for outward emotion. But seriously, great day of college football ahead. For me personally, I'll be watching medleys all day.

11 am (CST):
Northern Iowa at No. 22 Iowa (my NEW local team)
Minnesota at Syracuse

2:30 pm:
Mizzou-RAH at Illinois
No. 13 Georgia at No. 9 Oklahoma State (let's go, Z-Rob)

6 PM:
Northern Illinois at Wisconsin (more on the Badgers later today)

7 PM:
No. 5 Alabama at No. 7 Virginia Tech


God, I miss Madison today. But anyhow...

Throw in a STAR-STUDDED day of U.S. Open tennis (Federer-Hewitt, Oudin-Sharpova in a battle of the hotties, Djokovic-Witten, Soderling-Querrey, Isner-Roddick, topped off by Blake-Robredo) and, um, why leave the house? Butt, meet couch. It's been a while.

But before we get started, here are six points to ponder in the first (and hopefully not last) installment of "The Morning Report", which'll rattle off some lingering thoughts when I wake up in the a.m.

• These Toaster Scrambles - bacon, egg and sausage - are deeeeeeeeeeeelicious.
  
• Watched Big Ten Cookout this morning, and it took me about 4.8 seconds to figure out that Melanie Collins - our April TNEA - is really dumb. Like, kind of unconsciously dumb. I'll cut her a break, since she's 22 and just getting started on TV (and apparently, BTN thinks it's a great idea to have a girl fresh out of college hosting important Saturday shows). But she's got a lot of work to do before entering the class of our girl EA. But still...you say Big Ten Cookout, I say "Stare at Melanie Collins' Rockin' Body For 30 Minutes." She is deeeeeeeeeeelicious.


• Answer to a previous tennis trivia question (Name the 11 American citizens to win a GS singles title in my lifetime): Sampras, Agassi, Roddick, Serena and Venus are the easy ones. The toughies? Jim Courier (4, a two pair of Aussies and Frenches between 1991-93), Michael Chang (the 1989 French, two months before Matt and Dan's births), Lindsay Davenport (every tournament but the French, between '98 and 2000), Jennifer Capriati (two Aussies and a French), and then the two American converts - Martina Navratilova and Monica Seles.


• After two rounds, heading into Labor Day weekend, my dad holds a slight 90-88 point lead over me in our U.S. Open draw. Overall, he has been better: all 8 of his quarterfinalists are still in tact and he didn't make a lot of dumb early picks. Despite me losing Mardy Fish as a quarterfinalists, my entire top half round of 16 is still in tact (and they could all win today too), which has helped me keep pace. Again, I have Murray beating Federer in the final, Dad has the opposite.


• Go ahead and Google "college football". This is the No. 2 hit. And this is the No. 9 hit. Gotta love the fact that college football has apparently become synonymous with Jenn Sterger. Google is awesome.


• Picks, picks, picks: I'll take Oklahoma State to barely fight off Georgia (best game of the day), No. 3 Oklahoma to sneak by No. 20 BYU, Northern Colorado to stun No. 25 Kansas in Lawrence in my upset special, Washington to topple No. 11 LSU in my other upset special, and No. 7 Virginia Tech to score a big BCS win over No. 5 Alabama tonight. Also give me Miami over host No. 18 Florida State in my third upset special on Monday, Michigan narrowly over Western Michigan, Wisconsin big over Northern Illinois (again, more on this later today), Illinois over Missouri, and common sense over LeGarrette Blount's stupidity.

College football preview coming later today! Enjoy Labor Day Weekend, everybody!

-AJ

U.S. Open preview

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This will have to serve as Case of the Mondays for the week...and while I'm hoping to post again before next Monday - especially Sportsman and TNEA, which is due Tuesday - this is going to be one more intense week of work before I can get into that weekly fall rhythm. Then we'll have consistent blog updates on NFL stuff (including fantasy and PICK 'EM!!!), as well as the baseball postseason and the start of the college football season. Fall is here, folks. SOOOOOOOO excited.

Here's a U.S. Open 2009 preview compiled by me and my dad. I'll try to post my picks against my father's as the draw progresses.

Best First-Round Matchup: No. 2 Andy Murray and Ernests Gulbis. First round? SERIOUSLY?!?! This is quarterfinal-worthy banter. What a treat for early bird fans at Flushing.
David: Murray & Gulbis
Tasty Third-Round Matchup: No. 5 Andy Roddick and John Isner. Any American-American matchup is a good draw, especially when it's popular vet versus upstart young'n. Check for No. 6 Juan Martin Del Potro and No. 25 Mardy Fish as well.
David: No. 13 Gael Monfils & No. 18 Ferrer
Tasty Quarterfinal Matchup: No. 1 Roger Federer and No. 22 Sam Querrey. Just another tough American matchup on hostile grounds for The King.
David: Del Potro & Murray
Championship Matchup You Want To See But Probably Won't: Hmmmm...lots of good choices here. I'll go with No. 21 James Blake - the man is running out of time for his breakthrough major - against either No. 6 Del Potro or No. 7 Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, as both are equally fun to watch. Blake-Tsonga would be particularly intriguing from a cultural standpoint: both black players of, respectively, British and French descent, playing in Arthur Ashe Stadium.
David: Roddick & anyone
Over/under on American men making third round: 4.5. Over or under? (Hint: 16 are in the draw, before qualies) : I've got Blake, Querrey, Isner and Roddick all making the top half third round, with Fish joining them from the bottom half, which gives me five. I think Jesse Levine and - sleeper alert! - Jesse Witten winning a pair of rounds too. Gotta take the over.
David: Over
Over/under on Roger Federer lost sets in tournament: 4.5. Over or under? He'll lose three of them on Championship Sunday. He'll lose no more than one before then, with that Bounty soft draw. Under.
David: Over
Top Ten player who will lose in first two rounds: Federer. OK, just kidding. Del Potro better mind his step with former U.S. Open champ Marat Safin - who's playing his final Grand Slam event - lurking in the second round.
David: No. 8 Nikolay Davydenko
Unranked player who could crash the quarters: I have no unseeded players in the Sweet 16, so I'll pull one out of my butt here: Marcel Granollers of Spain, out of No. 12 Robin Soderling's 2nd round and Davydenko's quarter.
David: Robby Ginepri (if happens, would come from the Nadal quarter of draw)
Biggest name to show up as a spectator in New York: How about our Commander-in-Chief? He seems to take a special liking in numerous sports.
David: A-Rod or Regis (depends on how you define "biggest")
Latest time you will leave Flushing Meadows at night: Those guys? I bet they'll get out of there at 2:45 some morning. Then head promptly to Neptune's, eat till 5 in the morning, and be back at Flushing by 10. Troopers, not party poopers they are.
David: 1:30 am
Average price of a Heineken at Flushing: With the economy the way it is, maybe they'll be forgiving on concession prices. Not likely in the Big Apple, though. Probably $7.50.
David: $6.25
Quarterfinal picks: Federer over Querrey; No. 4 Novak Djokovic over No. 20 Tommy Haas; No. 3 Rafael Nadal (how weird do "3" and "Nadal" look together?) over No. 11 Fernando Gonzalez; Murray over Fish.
David: Federer over Querrey/Roddick over Djokovic/Gonzalez over Ferrer/Del Potro over Murray
Semifinal picks: Federer over Djokovic; Murray over Nadal.
David: Federer over Roddick/Del Potro over Gonzalez
Championship pick: Andy Murray wins his 1st, in four sets.
David: Roger Federer wins his 16th

-AJ

ESPYs picks - from The Artists Formerly Known at 699-201 Mifflin

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Here are our ESPYs picks (and we swear, nobody has looked at the results from last Wednesday...begs the question why the hell they don't just tape it live on Sunday), courtesy of yours truly, my dad David, my next-door neighbor T.J., and Justin Petek, my father's brother's nephew's former roommate:

SCORING SYSTEM
Correctly pick "will win": 4 points
Correctly pick "should win": 5 points
Correctly pick "should and will win": 6 points

BEST MALE ATHLETE
Kobe Bryant, NBA
LeBron James, NBA
Jimmie Johnson, Auto Racing
Michael Phelps, Swimming
Aaron's picks: LeBron James should win, Michael Phelps will win 4
Justin's picks: Michael Phelps should and will win 6
David's picks: Michael Phelps should and will win 6
TJ's picks: Michael Phelps should and will win 6

BEST FEMALE ATHLETE
Natalie Coughlin, Swimming
Nastia Liukin, Gymnastics
Maya Moore, NCAA Basketball
Candace Parker, WNBA
Serena Williams, Tennis
Aaron's picks: Candace Parker should and will win 0
Justin's picks: Candace Parker should win; Serena Williams will win 0
David's picks: Serena Williams should win; Nastia Liukin will win 4
TJ's picks: Serena Williams should and will win 0

BEST CHAMPIONSHIP PERFORMANCE
Kobe Bryant, Los Angeles Lakers
Cole Hamels, Philadelphia Phillies
Michael Phelps, Olympic Swimming
Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh, Olympic Beach Volleyball
Aaron's picks: Michael Phelps should and will win 6
Justin's picks: Michael Phelps should and will win 6
David's picks: Michael Phelps should and will win 6
TJ's picks: Michael Phelps should and will win 6

BEST BREAKTHROUGH ATHLETE
Shawn Johnson, Olympic Gymnastics
Evan Longoria, Tampa Bay Rays
Derrick Rose, Chicago Bulls
Matt Ryan, Atlanta Falcons
Aaron's picks: Matt Ryan should win, Derrick Rose will win 5
Justin's picks: Evan Longoria should win, Shawn Johnson will win 0
David's picks: Shawn Johnson should and will win 0
TJ's picks: Matt Ryan should win, Derrick Rose will win 5

BEST RECORD BREAKING PERFORMANCE
Usain Bolt, Olympic Sprinter
Larry Fitzgerald, Arizona Cardinals
Phil Jackson, Los Angeles Lakers
Michael Phelps, Olympic Swimmer
Aaron's picks: Larry Fitzgerald should win, Michael Phelps will win 4
Justin's picks: Usain Bolt should and will win 0
David's picks: Michael Phelps should and will win 6
TJ's picks: Michael Phelps should win, Usain Bolt will win 5

BEST UPSET
Mine That Bird wins the Kentucky Derby
Oregon State stuns then #1 USC
Tampa Bay Rays win the American League Championship Series
US Soccer shocks Spain in the Confederations Cup semifinals
Aaron's picks: Oregon State should win, US Soccer will win 4
Justin's picks: US Soccer should win, Tampa Bay will win 5
David's picks: US Soccer should win, Mine That Bird will win 5
TJ's picks: US Soccer should win, Tampa Bay will win 5

BEST GAME
Federer vs. Nadal in the 2008 Wimbledon Final
Steelers vs. Cardinals in Super Bowl XLIII
Syracuse vs. Connecticut in the Big East Tournament Quarterfinals
Aaron's picks: Fed-Nadal should and will win and ESPN can go to hell if it doesn't 0
Justin's picks: Syracuse-UConn should and will win (editor's note: pssssh) 0
David's picks: Fed-Nadal should and will win 0
TJ's picks: Syracuse-UConn should win, Federer-Nadal will win 0

BEST MOMENT
Florida’s Tim Tebow’s speech
Helio Castroneves wins the Indy 500
US swim team wins thrilling finish in Olympic relay
Aaron's picks: US swim team should and will win 6
Justin's picks: US swim team should and will win 6
David's picks: US swim team should and will win 6
TJ's picks: US swim team should win, Tim Tebow will win 5

BEST PLAY
Ovechkin vs. Rangers
Pacquiao KO’s Hatton
Roethlisberger to Holmes Super Bowl Winning TD
Texas Tech’s Michael Crabtree makes game-winning catch vs. Texas
Aaron's picks: Roethlisberger should win, Crabtree will win 5
Justin's picks: Roethlisberger should and will win 6
David's picks: Roethlisberger should win, Crabtree will win 5
TJ's picks: Roethlisberger should and will win 6

BEST TEAM
Connecticut Women’s Basketball
Los Angeles Lakers
North Carolina Men’s Basketball
Philadelphia Phillies
Pittsburgh Penguins
Pittsburgh Steelers
Aaron's picks: North Carolina men should win, Pittsburgh Steelers will win 0
Justin's picks: Connecticut women should win, Los Angeles Lakers will win 4
David's picks: Pittsburgh Steelers should and will win 0
TJ's picks: Connecticut women should win, North Carolina men will win 0

FINAL RESULTS
David Brenner - 38 (wins tiebreaker via "should win, will win" picks, 2-1)
T.J. Clayton - 38
Aaron Brenner - 34
Justin Petek - 33

-AJ

2009 Wimbledon Preview

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It's truly a pity that Rafael Nadal won't be back to defend his Wimbledon crown. Even worse, perhaps, is that Roger Federer's eventual record-breaking 15th Grand Slam title won't come with quite as much fanfare ... in fact, an asterisk may be included just because he didn't have to face Nadal to knock Pete Sampras off the mountaintop. (Not, like, a steroids-related asterisk; but an asterisk nonetheless.)

However, that shouldn't suggest this won't be a fantastic fortnight of tennis. I'm going to make my picks here, and for all second-round matchups, I'll tell you why, in 15 words or less (to match Federer's GS total pending this tournament) I'm taking that winner. The idea of picking second-rounders, is so that you can automatically see who my 1st-rounders are based on the matchup. At the end, I'll list my quarterfinal, semifinal and championship picks. I'm going mano y mano with mi papa. We'll see how it goes.

SECOND-ROUND PICKS, starting from the top of the draw
(5) Juan Martin Del Potro def. Lleyton Hewitt
No Nadal at the top means opportunity for Hewitt, but JMDP is ultra-talented
(25) Dmitry Tursonov def. Philipp Petzschner
A suddenly relevant match, what with Rafa taking his bad knees back to Mallorca
(23) Radek Stepanek def. Potito Starace
Two of the better names in the draw go head to head, with experience prevailing
(16) David Ferrer def. Fabio Fognini
Does Fabio have golden locks? What a weak upper eighth of the draw this is
Daniel Evans def. Bjorn Phau
Upset special of the tourney: homeboy Evans knocks out 12-seed Davydenko in 1st round
(20) Tomas Berdych def. Paul Henri-Mathieu
'Cuz now everybody's heard about the bird. Bird bird bird, the bird is the word
Benjamin Becker def. (26) Jurgen Melzer
The boy who ended Agassi's career has to be better than this, right?
(6) Andy Roddick-Decker def. Grigor Dimitrov
Apparently this Grigor kid is "better than Federer at 18". Uh-oh, Andy.

(3) Andy Murray def. Ernests Gulbis
Along with Roddick-Dimitrov, these could be two wildly entertaining 2nd-round battles
Daniel Gimeno-Traver def. (30) Viktor Troicki
The man with three names knocks out washed-up American Taylor Dent in opener
(19) Stanislas Wawrinka def. Martin Vassallo Arguello
Swiss Prince (to Fed's King) is steadily making this tiny country a two-man band
(14) Marat Safin def. Christophe Rochus
How in the world is Marat back in the top 15? Stealing his sister's points?
(10) Fernando Gonzalez def. Oscar Hernandez
Since he did that much damage on dirt, imagine what Gonzo can do on sod
Mikhail Youzhny def. Fabrice Santoro
Along with former French champ Ferrero and 33rd seed Kiefer, an interesting quartet lies here
(31) Victor Hanescu def. Nicolas Lapentti
There are three "Nicolas"-named players within five draw spots. Thought I'd point that out
(8) Gilles Simon def. Andrei Pavel
The highest-ranked dude you don't know. Mainly because he's never done anything substantial

(17) James Blake def. Marc Gicquel
Can the American Revolution (half-Yank, half-Brit) capitalize on his reshuffled, weaker draw?
Evgeny Korolev def. Paul Capdeville
I'd love to pick Vincent Spadea here, but his rap is better than his tennis
(24) Tommy Haas def. Michael Llodra
Isn't this guy like 43 years old now? How does he keep winning?
(11) Marin Cilic def. Sam Querrey
This might be young Sam's time to shine. But same goes for the lanky Croat
(15) Tommy Robredo def. Edouard Roger-Vasselin
Soft draw for the Spaniard, with two qualifiers likely in the offing
Dudi Sela def. (18) Rainer Schuettler
Shahar Peer already had her breakout '07 Open. Is it time for the Israeli man?
(28) Mardy Fish def. Janko Tipsarevic
Hey, Mardy, welcome back to the rankings. 'Bout time for Andy's old buddy
(4) Novak Djokovic def. Simon Greul
Loud-mouthed Serb hasn't done a whole lot since 2008 Aussie win. Comeback alert?

(7) Fernando Verdasco def. Kristof Vliegen
Now the top Spaniard in the field, we'll see if Verdasco's game translates to grass
Grega Zemlja def. Guillermo Canas
Because I don't trust No. 32 Albert Montanes and I like Grega Zemlja's name
Frank Dancevic def. (22) Ivo Karlovic
Karlovic is the only man alive who can nail 60 aces and still lose
(9) Jo-Wilfried Tsonga def. Simone Bolelli
Floats like a butterfly, stings like a bee. He's a bad man, he's Muhammed Ali!
Gilles Muller def. Andreas Beck
13th seed Robin Soderling will suffer a MAJOR letdown after dream run in Paris
(21) Feliciano Lopez def. Nicolas Almagro
There are 14 players in the draw from Espana, including this pair. Good gravy
(27) Philipp Kohlschreiber def. Maximo Gonzalez
Great name for Gonzalez. And baby-faced Kohlschreiber has game, but this is his ceiling...
(2) Roger Federer def. Agustin Calleri
...because there's a certain Swiss gentleman whom nobody in this field has defeated at Wimbledon

In the quarters, I have Roddick downing Del Potro, Murray besting F. Gonzalez, Cilic crashing the party over Djokovic, and Federer, well, you know, destroying Frank Dancevic.

Federer vs. one of the Andys in the final...doesn't matter which one. Roger will ease to his 6th Wimbledon and 15th Slam losing no more than a set.

-AJ

This Blog: Where Amazing NBA Picks Happen

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Bracket Challenge 2009

AJ's Bracket
First-round winners: Cleveland, Boston, Orlando, Atlanta, Lakers, Denver, Dallas, Portland
Conference finals: Cleveland beats Orlando, Lakers beat Denver
NBA finals: Cleveland vs.Lakers
CHAMP: Cleveland in six
TOTAL POINTS: 17

B-dubs' Bracket
First-round winners: Cleveland, Chicago, Orlando, Miami, Lakers, Denver, Dallas, Portland
Conference finals: Cleveland beats Orlando, Lakers beat Denver
NBA finals: Cleveland vs.Lakers
CHAMP: Cleveland in seven
TOTAL POINTS: 16

Justin Petek's Bracket
First-round winners: Cleveland, Boston, Orlando, Miami, Lakers, Denver, San Antonio, Portland
Conference finals: Cleveland beats Boston, Lakers beat Denver
NBA finals: Lakers vs. Cleveland
CHAMP: Lakers in six
TOTAL POINTS: 18

Zach Sundelius' Bracket
First-round winners: Cleveland, Boston, Orlando, Miami, Lakers, Denver, San Antonio, Portland
Conference finals: Cleveland beats Orlando, Lakers beat San Antonio
NBA finals: Lakers vs. Cleveland
CHAMP: Lakers in seven
TOTAL POINTS: 18

Tom Lea's Bracket
First-round winners: Cleveland, Boston, Orlando, Miami, Lakers, Denver, Dallas, Portland
Conference finals: Cleveland beats Boston, Lakers beat Denver
NBA finals: Cleveland vs. Lakers
CHAMP: Cleveland in six
TOTAL POINTS: 15

TIEBREAKER: Justin picked a six-game final, closer than Zach's seven, so Justin Petek is your winner. Fantasy, Pick 'em...this man is cleaning up.

OH...and don't forget, TNEA and Sportsmen/women (yes, plural) of the Month coming up on Friday. Enjoy the rest of the week.

-AJ