A Wisconsin Badger and an Oklahoma Sooner walk into a bar ... and proceed to talk cordially and respectfully about sports. With the occasional rant, riot or hot chick pic thrown in.
So I must be weird or something. When I first saw the realtime replay (meaning no slo-mo) of Jason Donald's foot meeting the bag at roughly the same time as that of Armando Galarraga, I thought it was a close play. Probably out, but a close play. However, first-base umpire Jim Joyce extended his arms to signal a safe runner.
Subsequently, the Detroit Tigers raised their arms and opened their mouths in bitter shock. Jim Leyland was apoplectic. The Tigers radio announcers went berzerk. The fans at Comerica booed effusively. The boys in Bristol cued up the replay to be reshown 3,000 times from 28 different angles. The nation's columnists and talking heads prepared their outrage, and so did the nation's sports fans.
And Armando Galarraga smiled.
He just stood their and smiled. Out of disappointment, out of frustration, out of hard luck, out of whatever emotion he was feeling, who knows. But the point was, he acted in such a foreign manner that 99.9 percent of us could never fathom expressing under the circumstances.
In the aftermath of Galarraga being, well, cheated out of joining the elusive MLB perfect game club, he never said an ill word toward Joyce, toward the umpires, toward Miguel Cabrera (who had tossed Galarraga the ball perhaps a tad casually), toward God, toward karma, toward anyone. He just took life as it happened, like a gentleman.
In the aftermath of Joyce's bang-bang call cheating Galarraga's perfection, he never uttered an excuse. Never got on the defensive. Never tried to stammer some half-baked reason for his call. He simply saw the replay, knew he screwed up, and dug into his internal resources for something that way, WAY too many people in this world don't comprehend.
He was accountable. He made a mistake, he owned up to it, and he apologized.
Isn't that what sports is all about? Nay ... isn't that what LIFE is all about???
I'm also weird for thinking that this story was completely overblown. If Joyce had made a bad call in the 12th inning of Game 7 of the World Series, I'd be screaming for universal instant replay like everyone else. But this, to me, doesn't fit the bill. Wins and losses and championships count more than personal achievements.
I'm also weird for thinking that Bud Selig did the right thing by upholding the call and not reversing Joyce's decision, thus officially keeping Galarraga out of the archives as a perfect-game pitcher. Talk about opening a can of worms the size of Mongolia if Selig had done that (and I'm not a Selig fan by any means).
So this was a story that filled the airspace for a good week or two. But what's splendid is, it only lives on not in a negative light by Joyce's mistake or the instant replay controversy.
I'm writing this at 2:05 am - about 90 minutes after the Rockies' indescribable 6-4 walk-off victory against the Giants. I'm still in shock. I'm a little numb. Probably delirious. Not sure how I'm going to function at work tomorrow, especially since I can't sleep thinking about the next three games on the ol' sked. But before I pass out from what's going on in LoDo, here are some bullet-point thoughts:
Broncos who?
I didn't realize Todd Helton had reached the Albert Pujols point where you just walk him automatically - even if the bases are loaded in a one-run game.
But I did love Helton staring down Barry Zito after doing just that to tie the game up at 1. That was Zito's third free pass handed out to TH. Some veteran pitcher, ya hack.
Yet another great play by Tulowitzki in the field to save a hit in the 10th. Of course, the announcers went nuts on ESPN during Top 10 when it was showed, which is well and good - but honestly, we Rockie fans are used to it. That's what Tulo does.
Troy Tulowitzki > Derek Jeter. At least now he is. In the words of Matt Berry, you heard me.
Of course, Tulo's boneheaded running error in the bottom of that inning can't go unnoticed. Runner on 2nd (a pinch-runner, by the way, so Helton's now out of the game), nobody out, Tulo singles to right. I guess he figured that if there was a play at the plate, either the game was over or CarGo would be out, so he should take second on the throw.
But you've got to have more awareness than that. And besides, even with CarGo was held up and the ball was cut off, why didn't Troy scamper back to first? That killed the inning. Killed it.
I do know that Tulo's playing through a bad leg injury. And Dex Fowler may have to do the same after fouling one off his knee in the 14th. Yikes.
Cy Young boy Tim Lincecum pinch-running, and closer Brian Wilson batting for himself in the 11th. Ummmm...what's wrong with this picture?
The exchange after that was hilarious: a terrible bunt by Wilson, Yorvit Torrealba making a horribly short throw to second, but Barmes makes a great dig and throws to first in time to nail a surprised Wilson. Threat over, inning over.
But yeah, I mean, what's wrong with this picture? MLB, one way or the other here. Pick a DH for both leagues or neither. Preferably both leagues, but either way, make a decision. We're waiting. Somebody wake up Bud.
Seriously, who are these Broncos characters? And where'd they go? Haven't heard much about them recently.
Plus Brandon Medders lining to third with the bases juiced and two out in the 13th. Medders is the Giants', like, fifth reliever. Just adds to the awe of this game.
All right, quote time: here's Drew Goodman's exact words in the bottom of the 14th:
"Ryan 1 for 6. In the air, deep right-center field, way back...ROCKIES WIN IT! GRAND SLAM, RYAN SPILBORGHS! YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! HE'S SPRINTING AROUND THE BASES! WOW! WOW!"
And with all the passion illustrated with the all-caps. Perfectly executed by the long-time Rockies play-by-play man. Unlike that obnoxious "See Ya!" bullshit that's been 15 years overdone by the YES network buffoon.
First walk-off grand slam in Rox history? Wouldn't have thunk it.
Jim Tracy damn near collapsed when Spilly's blast cleared the bullpen wall. He is SO cool. Might be my favorite coach in Colorado, with regards to George Karl.
And Tracy keeps saying it: "WE DON'T QUIT". Ah, the anti-Carmelo Anthony 2008 speech. (Sorry, Melo! Still love ya)
On the other hand, San Francisco Giants: Just go home. Quit. Seriously. You have a better chance of making the 2009 MLB playoffs as the Washington Nationals, the New England Patriots, and the Saudi Arabian team in the Little League World Series. It's true.
It is about this time I'm pondering: "what if this exact game happened between two teams wearing Yankees and Red Sox uniforms?"
I'm thinking the following truths: the roof in Bristol would explore; ESPN would pre-empt all its programming (including its beloved LLWS) for the next 16 hours to show highlights; Bill Simmons would be composing a 60,000-word column as well as a book to be sold in stores at a Barnes & Noble near you next May; Buster Olney's head would explode; Peter Gammons would have a heart attack; and did I mention the roof in Bristol would explode? Yes, yes I did.
That's not to knock ESPN's coverage of this game; it was great hearing the two anchors lead it off for the 1 pm SportsCenter. I'm just saying, Yankees-Red Sox is, well, it's getting old.
Neil Everett, whom I hate, had two priceless lines on SportsCenter.
The first was while ESPN showed the box score, right after Eaton's RBI walk: “Well, if you’re hanging around lower downtown Denver around midnight on Monday looking for something to do, you could catch this wild Rockies game now in the 14th inning, the Giants took a three-run lead in the top of the 14th, but then Adam Eaton walked with the bases loaded, and now…Ryan Spilborghs…(long pause)…has JUST HIT A WALK-OFF GRAND SLAM HOME RUN TO WIN IT FOR THE ROCKIES! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?”
And this, “Me and Stan (Verrett) are watching this, and we have chicken skin, hair raising on the back of our necks”
Neil, you moved up a few notches in my book. Keep it up, dude.
Let me ask you: how is ESPN NOT moving mountains to get a Dodgers-Rockies game on national television this week? HOW?!?!
Or how about Giants-Rockies on FOX on Saturday? Yo, Fox, check the fucking standings! CUBS ARE 62-60, EIGHT GAMES OUT! METS ARE 10 GAMES UNDER .500!!!!!
And Dodgers-Reds? DODGERS-REDS? Who’s setting these matchups and are they triple or quadruple the legal limit when they’re doing so?
Whatever. Bring on a Rangers-Rockies World Series. Can't wait to see jobs lost at MLB when that happens.
BEAT LA.
BEAT LA.
BEAT LA.
BEAT LA.
BEAT LA.
BEAT LA.
BEAT LA.
BEAT LA.
BEAT LA.
BEAT LA.
BEAT LA.
BEAT LA.
BEAT LA.
BEAT LA.
BEAT LA.
BEA
(That's 15.5 'beat LAs'. Same as the number of games the Rockies were back of the Dodgers on June 3.)
Attention Dodgers: Rockies in your rearview mirror are closer than they appear.
I don't honestly think the Rox get more than a game in this series. An incredibly physical, taxing series with the G-Men just ending, the Dodgers had the day off, the pitching matchups are severely in LA's favor...
That being said, that puts the pressure on the Dodgers. Should the Rockies get 2 of 3, the noose is gonna tighten even more around LA.
Oh, and one more thing: Print 'em up. That's right, playoff tickets. Print 'em up. That's all I gotta say about that.
. Wanted to postscript today's Sportsman and The Next Erin Andrews of the Month with an apology that we haven't been posting more often. July has been a surprisingly busy time here, mainly ridden with travel to everywhere from Fort Dodge to Chicago to Madison. So it's been tough to find time on the blog. But I promise, once football season of all varieties gets started up (NFL, fantasy, college, high school), there will be more frequent posts. I promise.
Now, here are three fun trivia questions. No fair using the Internet. The first is courtesy of the Comcast SportsNet broadcast of tonight's Cubs-Rockies game.
Four active left-handed batters have more hits than Todd Helton. Name 'em.
Question numero dos is courtesy of Jayson Stark on Tuesday's "Mike and Mike in the Morning".
Albert Pujols now has nine consecutive 100-RBI seasons to begin his career. There are only six active major league players, besides Pujols, with nine 100-RBI seasons in their entire careers. Name 'em.
And your final pop quiz inquiry of the day is courtesy of yours truly. One of those hidden-identity-name-the-two-compared-players deals. Enjoy.
Pitcher A: 141 IP, 10-5, 3.69 ERA, 1.39 WHIP, 125 K, 16 homers allowed in a hitter's park Pitcher B: 150 IP, 9-9, 3.65 ERA, 1.26 WHIP, 134 K, 8 homers allowed in a hitter's park
Oh, and one more thing... Pitcher A makes $16.5 million this season Pitcher B makes $750,000 this season
Name 'em.
If you like, post your guesses as a comment to this entry. I'll have the answers later this week.
. Let's play the "Team A vs. Team B Hidden Identity" game, shall we? I'm going to list the profiles of two different teams, and you tell me which squad deserves more attention on national TV as we hit the dog days of August, cool? Cool.
____________________________Team A________________Team B Current record_____________57-47__________________52-52 Division rank______________T-2nd__________________3rd Its division leader has...______Best record in MLB________12th-best record in MLB Playoff standing____________Co-wild card leader________3 games out of division lead Playoff years since 2005______1______________________1 World Series since 2005______1______________________0 ESPN.com Power Ranking____11______________________19 Team payroll rank__________21st ($72.4 mil)___________23rd ($67.6 mil) Census population rank______16th largest______________15th largest *all statistics as of Aug. 1
So you've got the A team that's five games ahead of the B team, is sitting in a playoff spot, and plays in a much more competitive division. Both teams have appeared in the playoffs recently, but only Team A has been to a World Series during that trip. Team A is also eight spots ahead of Team B in the latest ESPN.com rankings. The two teams have similar payrolls and play in similar TV markets (so, this is not a Boston vs. Tampa situation where the markets are vastly different.)
So, you'd obviously think that Team A should be on national television much more than Team B, right? Guess what, guys and gals: Team B is going to be on national television FOUR TIMES this month. Team A? Once. ONCE. And that's only if you consider MLB Network national television - in fact, that lone game is against the Cubs, whose games are mostly on WGN or Comcast Sportsnet anyway. But the point is, Team A will not appear on Fox, TBS or ESPN in August.
Go ahead and guess the two teams' identities. While you're mulling it over, here's a fun picture that'll make you laugh. Look real closely at the text graphic at the bottom:
Haha, Mark Buehrle's a stud! Hitting hos all over the place. Anyway, Team A is, of course, my beloved Rockies. Team B is Minnesota, which has a couple of stud players in Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau and has been a perennially successful team. But sorry Twin Cities, your team being on national TV four times in August kind of makes me want to barf.
Think I'm being too harsh on Minny? Fine. In fact, I just as easily could have played this game with the Atlanta Braves (53-51, 3rd place, 13th power rank, no playoffs since 2005, and 21st-largest media market - all weaker than the Rockies). Atlanta will be shown to America five times this year. Hope the U.S. likes old guys named Chipper and bespectacled catchers, because that's about all there is to like about the team that TBS deemed not attractive enough to continue following.
Then you've got Boston (eight times), which has officially replaced the Yankees as America's SUDAT Team (Shove Us Down America's Throat). Yanks are on five times since YES just isn't enough; Cubs are on five times, thank goodness they didn't tank; Mets and their sub-.500 record are on four times; Philly and the Dodgers are each on five times, understandable considering the defending champs and current top record and baseball are among those two.
But actually, you have no idea how glad I am that the Cleveland Indians take their 43-61 record to a national stage twice during this pivotal month. That's right, 43-61. No, really, I was so pumped when I saw I'd get two chances to watch a team that decided "you know what? let's just spit on our fans by letting go of a Cy Young winner and an All-Star catcher who swings both ways and can also play first base when not behind the dish. Who needs 'em?"
Oh, and you've got the Reds on twice too. You know, the 45-58 Reds who have been "just one year away" for about 28 years. And then, the Royals. The same Royals that are 23 games under .500. Yep, they were on Fox today. I'm sure their 14 fans were thrilled.
By the way, Cleveland, Cincinnati and Kansas City are 18th, 25th and 27th on the media market list. All lower than Denver. None of those franchises are higher than 15th on the league's payroll list. None of those cities has more than three teams in the four major pro sports, either (Cincy and KC have just two each - no hockey or hoops). Last I checked, Denver has four.
I think you get my drift. It continues to be absolutely deplorable that Major League Baseball and the networks that carry the product ignore the Colorado Rockies. Absolutely deplorable. Honestly, that's an understatement. I'd use better vernacular to describe this fact if I possessed it...or if I wanted to allow successive expletives on my blog.
What's funny is, the Nuggets were on national TV 19 times this year. 19! That's a quarter of their games!!! And they hadn't won a playoff round in a couple decades until this season! So we know the NBA department at ESPN can find Denver on a map. Besides, the Broncos have always received more than their share of attention in the past, and when the NHL was hot, the Avs were one of the three or four premier teams in the league. Apparently, the MLB department needs the heads-up that yes, hardball is played in the Rocky Mountains.
Finally…WE’RE BACK! More Mile High Musings – wait a minute. We need to change the subtitle of this thing. I mean, Case of the Mondays remains great, but Mile High Musings? I’m no longer in Denver! No more need for nostalgia. Hmmmm…what fits with Iowa?
(I swear to God, the next wisenheimer who makes a corn joke is getting 4,000 ears of corn shipped overnight to your front door. Grrrrr…)
Corn actually doesn’t work, since Davenport is extremely urban. No sign of corn anywhere. The Mississippi River’s right there, though. How about, Riverside Rants? That work for everybody? Good.
Now, without further adieu…a supersized pilot installment of Riverside Rants on a Monday that sees a parade of champions passing through during the past few weeks…
My dad and I had a conversation on, I wanna say it was Friday; the Lakers had just taken a 3-1 lead in the NBA Finals and the Red Wings were about to battle the Penguins in one game, in Joe Louis Arena, for the Stanley Cup. My dad posed the interesting question: if you could take one and only one result to your liking based on rivalry (a Red Wings loss at home, or a complete Laker collapse), which would it be?
Interesting question, I think. And I’d love to hear input from other Colorado fans. Basically, you’re either harkening back to your good ol’ Avalanche-loving, “Red Wings Suck” days and stripping Detroit of a Cup on its home ice … or you’re making sure “The Rapist” is handed the most painful beating of his life in Games 5, 6 and 7 which would make a diehard Nuggets fan feel kinda, sort better in the end.
My dad’s take was hands down, take the Red Wings loss. I think he’s still more into the NHL than I am, so he loved seeing Denver’s most hated rival failing to win their fifth championship of the Colorado Avalanche era.
Me? I had to think for a minute, before agreeing with my dad. However, I had a different reason. Kobe is a psycho. He really is. And I mean that in a good way. He absolutely killed himself over the past two years – mainly, in the past 12 months since losing to Boston – to get that fourth ring and first post-Diesel ring.
If you’re a Nuggets fan, or Spurs fan, or Blazers/Jazz/Suns/Mavs/Rockets/Hornets fan, do you want ANY part of an even more pissed-off Kobe Bryant in 2009-10? I didn’t think so. Let Kobe soak in the completion of his quest, and now that he’s getting older – not to mention, that’s a whole lotta games he’s now logged in the last 24 months – there’s great opportunity for another Western Conference team to make the Finals next season.
(Psssst…Chauncey, are you listening? MAKE IT HAPPEN NEXT YEAR! Thank you.)
So anyway, speaking of the Lakers, congratulations to Los Angeles on your 15th. And to Phil Jackson on his tenth in 19 years – now THAT is an accomplishment.
But I’m morally obligated to complain about this somehow, so let’s talk about that ghastly postgame ceremony in which three different sequences were excruciating to watch, not from a I-hate-the-Lakers standpoint but from a why-is-this-completely-ad-libbed-I-think-I’ll-flip-to-TBS-to-watch-Mean-Girls-now standpoint…
Stuart Scott’s first interview upon the Lakers being presented the Larry O’Brien trophy was not Jerry Buss. It was Jerry’s son Joey – what kind of high-powered executive is named Joey? – whose attire (not just any polo shirt and jeans; it was an outfit that looked like it was 40 percent off at Kohl’s during Bonus Buys week in May) indicates he didn’t realize he was going to be accepting a world championship trophy on national television. Instead, he thought he was just gonna be backstage, draining free booze with attractive 24-year-old interns who were staring at the huge bulge in his pants.
(A bulge caused by a wallet filled with Daddy’s cash. Get your minds out of the gutter.)
Anyway…uhhh…okay, I’ll ask. Where’s Jerry? Why are we talking to his son, who nobody’s even heard of (not even Kobe or Pau)? Why can’t he shave his neck patch? Why was the answer to Stu Scott’s first question a long pause and then, “this one…means…a lot.”? (Thanks for the elaboration) And for god’s sake, if we can’t hear from the actual owner, why not his daughter, Jeanie Buss, who’s also dating Phil Jackson? Wouldn’t it have been great for Stu to kid around with her about dating PJ with some sort of lame sex pun or asking if this would be a good time for Phil to pop the question? That whole sequence was especially painful.
Then during Scott’s interview with Phil, that went well enough…right until the end, when Phil addressed his family, said “they mean so much to me and I can’t thank them enough” to clearly complete his answer. But Stu must have had a stroke or something, because he stared at Phil for THREE GOOD SECONDS, keeping the microphone in front of his face, not asking a follow-up question or turning it back to David Stern, forcing Phil to stammer out awkwardly, “thank you”. Hi, hello Stu? Earth to Stu? You’re on NATIONAL TELEVISION. Wake up.
And then, Stern brings up Bill Russell, apparently to assist him with presenting the MVP trophy to Kobe Bryant. Sounds like a real two-man job. Stern lists off all Bill Russell’s accolades, reminding the Magic crowd and L.A.’s fans of how successful the Celtics’ franchise has been (like anybody cares or wants to hear about that). After a long-winded introduction, Stern nods in Russell’s direction, and Russell goes to take the microphone and present Kobe with the trophy in his name. Except, inexplicably, Stern gives Russell the “psyche!” treatment, turning back to the crowd and saying, “Ladies and gentlemen, your 2009 Finals Most Valuable Player, Kobe Bryant!”, and the camera shows in on a stunned Russell, clapping politely but almost certainly thinking, “WTF? Is Stern clinically insane? Why’d I come down here? And where’s Kevin Garnett at? Shouldn’t I be giving him this trophy?”
What a weird postgame, post-championship ceremony. Well done, ABC and NBA. Take a bow.
Or don’t. Whatever.
Pau Gasol wears braces? I had no idea.
I still think Gasol’s nickname should be Garbage Man, for all the easy points he picks up for doing almost nothing. But I do not still think he’s overrated. He’s one of the top five big men in the league, no matter how he gets it done.
Saw the Hangover Saturday. Comic genius.
That is a spot-on representation of what every man aspires to with bachelor parties and Vegas-related shenanigans in general. The physical humor was great – but that’s kinda besides the point.
Hangover is an absolute quote machine, like Anchorman-level. I cannot WAIT to buy the DVD – which will certainly be Unrated and might come with 3D glasses, considering the direction of Hollywood – and start memorizing every line. Highly recommend the flick, if you haven’t caught it already.
How ‘bout them Rockies? Got a lil’ stat for you. Looked it up myself.
On June 15, 2007, the Rockies were right at .500, had a minus-24 run margin, and sat 5 games behind the Dodgers out of the National League wild card.
On June 15, 2009, the Rockies were one game under .500, had a plus-22 run margin, and sat 3.5 games behind the Giants out of the NL wild card.
The ’09 team was unwatchable on June 1. The ’07 team made the World Series.
All together now: I’m not sayin’. I’m just sayin’.
Okay, I admit it. I did hurt myself jumping on the bandwagon. I’m not making any playoff declarations; I’m not even saying I’m going to watch them any more closely now…it’s not easy when you’re out of town like this. But at least they’re watchable now, and should the Dodgers drop off even a little bit – well, things might get interesting.
And now, our weekly News and Views (Andy Baggot, your check is in the mail)…
News: Jason Marquis pitches brilliantly for seven innings on Saturday, leaving with one earned run and a 3-1 lead. Manny Corpas enters in the eighth, surrenders a game-tying two-run jack, but finishes the inning and benefits from two Rockie runs in the bottom half of the inning. Corpas picks up the victory; Marquis gets squat.
Views: Please, MLB statnerds, PLEASE … can we do away with the silly won-loss rules for pitching? Like, really. I’d feel just as wronged if Johan Santana gave up 11 runs in two innings, only for the Mets to win (or lose) 17-15 and provide Santana with a no-decision.
We’ve got to create a new formula for win-loss: maybe it’s gotta be the team record when that guy pitches. Or perhaps it takes into consideration who was leading when the pitcher departed, which wouldn’t keep it as a “win-loss” record, but some other stat that judges how often a pitcher gives his team a chance to win the freaking ballgame.
If nothing else, please…no more shall a reliever be allowed to pick up a blown save AND a win in the same game like Corpas did. PERIOD. If a starting pitcher can throw four solid innings and be disallowed from being named the winner, then we can certainly create a rule that stops a reliever from blowing a lead – or, for that matter, allowing two or more runs in any circumstance – from becoming the pitcher of record during a victory because his teammates bailed him out.
And that’s my extended Riverside Rant of the day. Whew. Glad I could get that out.
Federer’s French Fourteen. The Swiss Slam. Roger and Pete just hangin’ out together, on the same line.
And yes, the victory is slightly hollow since Nadal didn’t meet Federer there in the final at Roland Garros. But as they say, you can only beat the guys on the other side of the net. It wasn’t like Roger went all college football on us and intentionally scheduled a patsy like Robin Soderling to roll over under all that pressure on Championship Sunday.
Should Nadal be unable to compete at Wimbledon, does that make things easier for Roger’s quest to break Sampras’ all-time mark in London? Sure it does. But is it automatic? Not even close. I think the likes of Novak Djokovic, the much-improved homeboy Andy Murray, and even a hot stringer like Andy Roddick (not to mention all the young talent like Del Potro, Tsonga, Ferrer, Gulbis, et al) might have something to say about that.
But anyways, well done to Federer. He deserves inner peace after having the French Open elude him all those years. Wimbledon should be terrifically fun.
As for the women’s side? Boy, when Maria and Ana are hurt/struggling and the Williams sisters go quietly in the early rounds, I just can’t bring myself to care. Sorry. Need more stud players outside that foursome.
For the avid tennis fan: buy this book. Now. And read it. Read it all. You can do it in a day. And that’s all I have to say about that.
. A belated Double Deuce - er, double dose - of swine-flu-free Mile High Musings, comprised of 22 wishes I made on my birthday last Sunday or sometime since…
I wish people would stop throwing newspapers on their deathbeds. The business model is broken, sure. But the world will always need watchdogs, always need political writers, always need football beat writers, always need movie critics, and always need their crossword, comics and Sudoku. So blogs are gonna take over, huh? Most blogs couldn’t exist without the information ascertained from real journalists.
Maybe newspapers won’t be in the form of rolled-up broadsheets which double as flyswatters or birdcage liners, but online newspapers are still newspapers nonetheless. So cry for your paperboy, but nothing else. Saying that aspiring journalists should give up because of expiring newspapers is like saying that the music industry was dead when records gave way to compact discs, and then to mp3 files. Same product, different format.
I wish someone would explain the allure of Twitter to me. Isn’t it basically Facebook’s status updates…and that’s it? Oh, so you can garner “subscribers” in some sort of self-competitive nature. Uh, same motivation as gobbling up Facebook “friends”, right? So Twitter basically stole 2 percent of the things you can do on Facebook, and is operating a multi-million dollar business off of it? No thanks. I gave in to Facebook (not that it took that much persuasion) and I gave in to blogging (obviously); I don’t see myself ever giving in to Twitter. Tweet that, why don’t you.
I wish the NBA creates a flopping foul in the next two years. And it counts as two personals on your way to six and fouling out. Like a technical: the opposing team gets two throws and the ball. I’m sick of watching players get barely touched, only to instinctively throw their hands up in the air like those Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Waving Tube Men.
I wish Curt Phillips wins the starting gig this fall over Dustin Sherer. Nothing wrong with Dustin, he’s a nice kid and an improving player, but for the long-term sake of the program, Wisconsin football needs to get at least a half-season’s worth of starts out of the Tennessee dual-threat product.
I wish baseball were a wee bit more predictable. As I wake up on Monday morning, I look at the standings and see four division leaders (Toronto, Kansas City, Seattle and St. Louis) that finished in fourth place last season; besides, of the seven teams that sit three games or more above .500, only the Dodgers and Red Sox played in October last season.
But hey, at least I nailed Matt Holliday as the most overrated player in MLB. And my fantasy team is back to .500. So things aren’t all bad. Of course, Matty H is on said fantasy team. Oh well.
I wish to change my preseason playoff picks: Toronto, Kansas City, Seattle, Detroit, Florida, St. Louis, San Francisco, Cincinnati. Oh, that’s not who I think will win division or wild card crowns. It’s who I want to win. Because that’d be wicked funny to watch money-hungry MLB stick that in its big-market pipe and smoke it.
I wish only the best for Chase Daniel and Graham Harrell as undrafted free agents. Go prove a bunch of teams wrong, guys.
I wish Alex Rodriguez would go away. You too, Brett Favre. But it looks like the latter might not go so easily (note: read the last three paragraphs, in particular).
I wish to put the following video on my blog. Because it is humorous and may slightly resemble my own life. (The “we like sports” part, not the “I’m gonna sit three inches away from my best bud in the hottub” part)
I wish, retroactively, that my first three Mifflins had had such gorgeous weather as my last one. Then again, I feel lucky that the fourth and final Mifflin Block Party – the only one during which I lived on the freaking street – welcomed perfect sunny skies and warm temperatures throughout the afternoon.
I wish I had more time to enjoy Madison, Wisconsin. I spent my first three years here itching to get out and start that first job, figuring college was just a four-year footprint on my way to “the pros.” But senior year, I realized how much fun this place (and any college experience) is. Would’ve been nice to learn that two years ago. Current froshies and sophs, take note.
I wish T-Mobile would clear up why I’ve watched that same damn Dwight Howard-Dwayne Wade commercial 263 times, and still don’t understand why a video game injury would affect Howard’s life in any way, shape or form. And while we’re at it, just who the heck is that old white guy using the walker and talking trash to Barkley in the “Old School” commercial? These things eat at me.
On the other hand, I wish I was as cool as that Dos Equis guy. I may not be the most interesting man in the world, but my reputation is too expanding faster than the universe. And I too once had an awkward moment just to see how it feels. I, too, live vicariously through myself. Stay thirsty, my friends.
I wish Barry Alvarez would enlighten us as to what he’s thinking up there in that big fancy office of his. I thought the idea was to let Lisa Stone’s contract run out, rather than buying her out since it doesn’t make sense to pay two coaches for a non-revenue program. Fine. But extending her a season? And defending Stone by saying her “team was very close to having an outstanding year”, during a 6-12 conference season? This is a coach that not only had the most prolific scorer in UW men’s or women’s basketball history and failed to reach a single NCAA tournament (in fact, Stone still hasn’t brought her team Dancing in her six years here), but also has had numerous players leave the program (four of which I’ve actually met personally … I’m sure there are others).
I don’t understand the move. Neither do any of my Wisconsin sportswriting brethren. Neither do the fans, who commented on the Cap Times’ story. Neither do two of those ex-players still on campus. But hey, if Barry signed off on it, he must be right, right?
I wish I loved the NHL playoffs more. Numerous people have complained about a lack of playoff hockey coverage on this blog. I wish I could get into it, but I can’t! It doesn’t help that I live in a NHL-less state. Well, if anyone would like to produce coverage on the playoffs, let me know and we’ll be happy to post any work on it.
I wish this Denver Nuggets run would never end. No, seriously. Can they just play all the way through the summer? During their Game 1 thrashing of the Mavericks (give Dallas credit, though, they hung in there for three quarters and change), I figured out why I love the Nuggets more than any other team in sports: win or lose, George Karl’s guys make at least three or four plays every game that make you leap out of your chair and cheer or fist pump or unleash a tribal scream (you know, for playoff time). They’re just so darn fun to watch.
And I wish some NBA expert would explain to me why the Nuggets can’t beat the Lakers. Some guys are coming around, but apparently not our own Denver alumnus, Jon Barry (he said at halftime today the Nuggets can “absolutely not” touch the Lakers). While I’m at it, I wish the Lakers do beat the Rockets in their series. In fact, I hope they thump them real good. In four games, seven games, whatever. Just make sure LA matches up with Denver. I’d hate for Houston to steal our prize.
Bring. On. L.A.
This isn’t a wish, but can you Nuggets fans believe that just 10½ months ago, this was happening??? We almost had neither Carmelo nor Chauncey. Now we have both. As Kanye says, “it’s amazing, so amazing.”
I wish, if I were to land a TV job somewhere in a hypothetical situation, it is with TNT’s ‘Inside the NBA’ with EJ, Kenny and Chuck. Those who have watched this ridiculously entertaining show need no further explanation. If you haven’t, well, YouTube it. My petty words cannot do it justice. Here’s some help…
I wish to amend this statement I wrote in a Badger Herald column three years ago, in my first-ever birthday column: “I wish Bret Bielema a successful first season. Hard to say about his ability as a head coach just yet, but he’s one of the nicest guys I’ve met in sports.” Ummmm…wow. Just wow. I have no comment beyond that. You guys who have covered UW football with me know what I’m talking about.
Speaking of that old column, I wish for a Lakers cheerleader. Four years running, still nothing. I’ll keep wishin’.
And more than anything else, I wish my unemployed title is lifted in the next week or so. Crossing my fingers…hey, can’t a guy wish for something realistic that he actually has control over?
And that’s all I have to say about that. Due to a certain Thursday event involving the above statement, I’ll only have one more blog post – my Sportsmen of April – for the rest of the week. Wish me luck!
. More Mile High Musings for a Monday that, fittingly, begins with 30 fresh starts and ends with a championship finish...
I guess I should weigh in on the Jay Cutler saga, you know, being that I'm a Broncos fan and I write for a blog and all. One problem: I don't quite know how I feel about the whole situation, like whose side I was on (Cutler's or the Broncos') or who was the winner in April 2nd's big deal (Bears or Broncos).
The one thing I do know about the situation...well, to be honest, I can't say it any better than (of all people) George Karl, coach of the red-hot Denver Nuggets. When the DP asked Karl, who's dealt with a similar situation last summer with the Melo trade rumors, about the Cutler ordeal barely 24 hours before Baby Jay was shipped to Chicago, Karl said this:
"My thought is - I'd take them up to the mountains, put them in a cabin, and make them spend three days with each other."
Okay, when the man who took three years to figure out that giving JR Smith more than 15 minutes a game might be a good thing for your basketball team can make logical sense with his 'football GM' hat on, that's not a good sign for the Denver Donkeys, now is it?
I get that Jay has the maturity of a six-year-old girl with Barbie-doll separation issues. I get that many of the all-time greats (John Elway and Carmelo Anthony, for two) have dealt with trade rumors far, far better than he did. I get that Cutler - a franchise player for two years - could have easily strolled across the locker room and asked his new teammate, safety Brian Dawkins and the Eagles' franchise player of 13 years, how to act like a man when your employer curiously wants nothing to do with you.
But something doesn't sit right with me, when respected football writers like my personal favorite Peter King paint this picture of Pat Bowlen as not only a fantastic owner (which he is), but also a man you do not disrespect under any circumstances.
Bowlen wrote that "it has never been about one player, and it never will be." Tell me, Patty, how it wasn't about "one player" when you allowed "one player" to set your franchise back five years because he didn't pick up his cell phone. Give. Me. A. Break.
You allowed it to be about one player by surrendering to his so-called demands instead of fining the crap out of him and forcing him to make nice with Josh McDaniels.
That's my thoughts on the Ghost of Broncos past; since I want to get to baseball, I'll post something about the Broncos future tomorrow. But quickly, I will say that I believe in Kyle Orton. Yes, this man. He is not "horrible" as I've heard so many good people and Bears fans (the same people, strangely enough) claim. We'll talk more about Orton tomorrow.
I tell you: nothing says Opening Day quite like ponchos and down jackets, huh?
Watching that Mets-Reds slip 'n slide...er, baseball game...earlier today, those fans looked like they'd rather be sipping cocoa in the ski lodge then freezing their arses off at a baseball game.
As it was, two games were postponed on Opening Day (Rays-Red Sox and Royals-White Sox). Good thing; with soaking-wet fields, you wouldn't want the players to catch pneumonia by getting their Sox wet.
Here's the part I don't get: when all 30 teams are in action, you've got eight NL games and seven AL games each day. Why aren't we dictating that every game being played before, say, April 15, is either in a dome or a warm-weather city?
Florida, Atlanta, Milwaukee, Houston, Los Angeles, San Diego, San Francisco, Arizona. And Colorado, St. Louis and Washington as possible backups.
Tampa Bay, Toronto, Minnesota, Seattle, Oakland, Los Angeles, Texas. And maybe Kansas City and Baltimore as possible backups.
But no, let's schedule games in Boston, Chicago, and Cincinnati. What's funny is, out of the 13 games on Opening Day, 10 of them are in one of those domed or warm-weather locales.
However, if MLB doesn't learn anything from this year, they never will. The three cold-weather games? Two postponements and the aforementioned tundra-like affair in Cincinnati.
All right, Yankees fans, you finally got to see your $23 million a year 'till 2015 investment in action. And what did we get in return from Carsten Charles Sabathia, aka Mr. $700,000-per-start?
(Consulting the box score...talk amongst yourselves...hmmm, this doesn't look good. Earmuffs, kids.)
4 1/3 innings, 96 pitches (only 50 strikes), six earned runs, eight hits, five walks and a whopping zero strikeouts. Lemme repeat that, because I sure as haaaaail did a double-take just typing that: five walks, zero strikeouts. Against the devastatingly powerful Orioles lineup.
Stathead alert! Today was CC's 255th career start, and only the third time he failed to strike a batter out (both in 2005: May 5 at Minnesota and July 25 at Oakland). He's also never walked that many (five) while failing to ring up a single batter. By the way, on a separate note: CC's career postseason ERA is 7.92.
700 grand for that masterpiece today. Don't spend it all in one place, CC (or should I say, BB?)
And Yankees fans, don't say I didn't warn you: Sabathia's gonna go something like 14-10 with an ERA in the high 3s, maybe low 4s this year. Sounds like $23 million well spent.
For those of you screaming, "You guys both took him to win the Cy this year!" Well, consider this my official retraction. I'm going with either Ervin Santana or Roy Halladay. No, that's not a knee-jerk, one-game reaction.
From the That Really Grinds My Gears Department: Tried out MLB.com's TV package today. I've done it the past three years, for some reason, since I've received the worst customer service out of any company to which I write checks. MLBTV's new "Nexdef" technology provides a crystal clear picture...but the damn thing freezes every 15 seconds, and doesn't refresh, so you end up watching the sixth inning when the game is actually in the eighth. Do not purchase this product, not worth the money.
How 'bout my Marlins, huh? Highest run-scoring team of the day (as of 7 pm CST). Not bad for my World Series pick. Good start. Nice way to kick things off for Benji's favorite team, too; Rangers a 9-1 winner over the Tribe.
Not so good for the Rox, 9-8 losers to the D-Bags Snakes.
C'mon, Cookie, you're better than that.
Quick shout-out to Michael Bleach of the Badger Herald, whose column last Thursday set the all-time Herald Sports record for "most commented story". (And to think, I only helped him once!) Had no idea softball people were that passionate, but it is a very well-written column and the ensuing commentors are insightful.
BREAKING NEWS! So this news came out while I was putting this together: San Antonio Spurs douche guard Manu Ginobili's is out for the remainder of the season and playoffs because he committed too many flopping violations with an ankle injury.
BREAKING VIEWS! Manu's season is over. So is the Spurs'. It's a two-horse race in the West now. (I will now go pump my fist Tiger-style for the next three hours.)
Tonight's NCAA championship game should be a great one. The villain powerhouse against the Cinderella underdog that everyone's pulling for...for a reason other than basketball.
Personally, I want to apologize to the Michigan State Spartans for doubting them. Sitting behind their bench during a bad loss to Ohio State in the Big Ten Tournament semifinals, the players seemed dysfunctional; I didn't get the feeling they really loved each other the way great teammates should. Kudos to Tom Izzo's crew for showing another iconic Big Ten coach how it's done in March and April, and it's great that you've lifted the spirits of Michigan.
That said, speaking of teams that love each other, Tyler Hansbrough, Ty Lawson, Wayne Ellington and Danny Green didn't all come back to school just to lose in the championship game to a team it previously beat by 35...on that same court. Tar Heels win tonight, but it might be closer than you think - maybe the first single-digit win of North Carolina's tournament.
Blake Griffin, thou art behemoth. Courtney Paris, thou art creatureth larger than behemoth.
Brad Hawpe = Brandon Webb's daddy. And that's all I have to say about that.
AJ's PICKS (all right, let's hear from someone who kind of knows baseball. But...no, not really)
You Play to Win The Game! Divisional and Playoff picks
AL East: Yankees....................................................NL East: Mets AL Central: Indians...............................................NL Central: Cardinals AL West: Angels.....................................................NL West: Dodgers AL Wild Card: Red Sox...........................................NL Wild Card: Marlins
AL Penthouse (best record): Yankees.....,...........NL Penthouse: Mets AL Outhouse (worst record): Mariners...............NL Outhouse: Nationals
World Series: Marlins beat Yankees in 7 (That's right, folks. We're on the every-six-year-plan with the Fish, and their last title was...let's see...consulting Wikipedia...ah! Six years ago! It's their year!)
Hardware heroes
AL MVP (ranked 1 through 5): 1) Grady Sizemore, Indians. Can do it all at the plate and in the field. And just look at that puddum. 2) Josh Hamilton, Rangers 3) Evan Longoria, Rays 4) Alex Rodriguez, Yankees 5) C.C. Sabathia, Yankees
NL MVP: 1) Albert Pujols, Cardinals: Well, I paid $70 for him in our auction draft - almost 30 percent of my cap. He'd BETTER deliver. 2) Hanley Ramirez, Marlins 3) Manny Ramirez, Dodgers 4) Ryan Howard, Phillies 5) Ryan Braun, Brewers
AL Cy Young: 1) CC Sabathia, Yankees: he's a big man. 2) Ervin Santana, Angels 3) Roy Halladay, Blue Jays
NL Cy Young: 1) Tim Lincecum, Giants: could win 20 and whiff 250 this year. 2) Ubaldo Jimenez, Rockies (okay, I'm a homer) 3) Ricky Nolasco, Marlins
AL Rookie of the Year: Travis Snider, Blue Jays NL Rookie of the Year: Cameron Maybin, Marlins
Best shot to win a Triple Crown, AL: Alex Rodriguez, Yankees Best shot to win a Triple Crown, NL: Albert Pujols, Cardinals
Other random crap we’ll try to predict
Most underrated team: Cincinnati Reds (and, obviously, my WS pick, Florida) Most overrated team: Oakland Athletics
Surprise player (most likely to overachieve): Yovani Gallardo, Brewers Disappointing player (most likely to underachieve): Matt Holliday, Rockies Athletics. His career batting average outside Coors Field is .280, folks. Overrated, perhaps?
What a ripoff! (top-10 salary team to stumble): Since the $120 million Mariners are too obvious, I'll go the Chicago White Sox. Livin’ on a budget (bottom-10 salary team to thrive): Since the $22 million Marlins or $43 million Rays are too obvious, I'll stay in the AL Central with the Kansas City Royals.
Biggest name to surface in 2009 season involving steroids (active players only):LeBron James, Caval...oops, wrong sport. How about Manny Ramirez, Dodgers? (Apr. 6 postscript: Jose Canseco apparently agrees this is possible)
Audio of the week: If you haven't heard the "Pucker Pucker Pucker" man, your life is not yet complete. End of story. I might devote more space to this later this week.
B-Dubs readily admits he's not a big baseball guy, so...he'll probably be more accurate than me anyway.
B-DUBS PICKS
You Play to Win The Game! Divisional and Playoff picks
AL East: Yankees....................................................NL East: Phillies AL Central: White Sox............................................NL Central: Cubs AL West: Angels......................................................NL West: Dodgers AL Wild Card: Rays................................................NL Wild Card: Brewers
(AJ note: wow, now that is original analysis from Mr. Benjamin Walnick. I feel like I'm looking at the 2008 division winners and wild card, only somebody accidentally typed the Yankees in for winning the AL East instead of the Red Sox. Talk about chalk.)
AL Penthouse (best record): Yankees.................NL Penthouse: Dodgers AL Outhouse (worst record): Orioles..................NL Outhouse: Padres
World Series: Yankees beat Cubs in 6 Hardware heroes
AL MVP (ranked 1 through 5): 1) Evan Longoria, Rays: Leads team to playoffs again. 2) Grady Sizemore, Indians 3) Joe Mauer, Twins 4) Kevin Youkilis, Red Sox 5) Carlos Quentin, White Sox
NL MVP: 1) Albert Pujols, Cardinals: Best power and finesse hitter in last 15 years. 2) David Wright, Mets 3) Hanley Ramirez, Marlins 4) Jimmy Rollins, Phillies 5) Ryan Braun, Brewers
AL Cy Young: 1) CC Sabathia, Yankees: The horse brings a championship to New York. 2) Roy Halladay, Blue Jays 3) Cliff Lee, Indians
NL Cy Young: 1) Carlos Zambrano, Cubs: Finally puts together a complete season and leads Cubs to World Series. 2) Tim Lincecum, Giants 3) Cole Hamels, Phillies
AL Rookie of the Year: David Price, Rays NL Rookie of the Year: Cameron Maybin, Marlins
Best shot to win a Triple Crown, AL: Alex Rodriguez, Yankees Best shot to win a Triple Crown, NL: Albert Pujols, Cardinals
Other random crap we’ll try to predict
Most underrated team: Rangers WILL make a run at the Angels (I'm a homer) Most overrated team: Atlanta Braves
Surprise player (most likely to overachieve): Chris Davis, Rangers Disappointing player (most likely to underachieve): Mark Teixeira, Yankees
What a ripoff! (top-10 salary team to stumble): Detroit Tigers Livin’ on a budget (bottom-10 salary team to thrive): Tampa Bay Rays
Biggest name to surface in 2009 season involving steroids (active players only): Ryan Howard, Phillies
Audio of the week: If you haven't heard the "Pucker Pucker Pucker" man, your life is not yet complete. End of story. I might devote more space to this later this week.
Technically, it's Case of the Mondays, because arguably 
