Fun with College Football Announcers

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Sometimes, you see the most random individuals calling college football games. I think if you quarterbacked an NFL game at some point in time, you are automatically qualified to talk about college football. Somehow.

Let's take a peek at some of the on-air talent this weekend, shall'nt we? We shall.


24 Texas A&M @ Oklahoma State, 7:30

ESPN: Rece Davis, Craig James, Jesse Palmer, Jenn Brown

Jesse Palmer: wearing shirts four sizes too small on national television, Since 1998. Oh, and Jenn Brown? We call her Erin Andrews-in-Waiting. You know, hopefully without the peephole and ensuing skankfest on Dancing with the Stars.

Northwestern @ Minnesota, 12:00

ESPN: Bob Wischusen, Brian Griese

Hey, look at that: Brian Griese's all grows'd up, providing color commentary just like his dad. A sweet touch for the family, I'm sure. Now if only they would give him a real game to call.

Louisiana-Monroe @ 11 Auburn, 12:00

ESPNU: Clay Matvick, Herm Edwards, Elizabeth Moreau

YOU PLAY! TO WIN! THE GAME! Never knew Herm did college stuff too. This is what happens when there are approximately 685 college football games to televise each Saturday.

Alcorn State @ Mississippi State, 12:00

SEC Network: Bob Rathbun, Tim Couch, Jenn Hildreth

"The Alcorn State quarterback comes in with a boatload of hype, but hasn't seemed to live up to expecatations. Tim, what's your take on that?"

Vanderbilt @ Connecticut, 12:00

Big East Network: Mike Gleason, John Congemi, Eamon McAnaney


I just wanted to type Eamon McAnaney. Apparently, he's a former college lacrosse player at Notre Dame. Something about Notre Dame grads and TV seems to mesh.

Navy @ Air Force, 2:30

Versus: Joe Beninati, Kelly Stouffer, Lindsay Soto

Wisconsin fans recall this trio from the UNLV game. The two guys in the booth were nothing to write home about (for good or bad), but Lindsay Soto? As the kids would say, 'she gettin it done'.

19 Michigan @ Indiana, 3:30

ESPNU: Pam Ward, Danny Kanell

Add Mr. Kanell to the Undistinguished NFL Backup Quarterbacks Now Working On TV All-Stars

Florida International @ Pittsburgh, 3:30

ESPN3.com: Dave Popkin, Jeremy Bloom

The former CU standout who had to choose between football and skiing, it looks like Bloom is staying active in the football world. Good for the guy, who had to face those unfair decisions. One of the great examples of our time of guys getting NCAA'd.

UTEP @ New Mexico, 6:00

Mountain West: Bill Doleman, Reggie Rivers, Toby Christensen

See, now Rivers of an example of a football player who KNEW he wanted to be a journalist, even during his playing days for the Broncos. He's written columns for the old Rocky Mountain News, and anchors sports for CBS (KCNC) in Denver.

Georgia @ Colorado, 7:00

FSN: Joel Meyers, Joel Klatt, Jim Knox

I recall watching a CU game at Folsom a few years back when Klatt was providing color, and coming away impressed not only with his knowledge of the game, but his ability to put aside his bias - you know, since he's one of the Buffs' finest quarterbacks in recent memory. See? I can say nice things about the University of Colorado-Boulder. I'm all grows'd up. Like Brian Griese.

Texas Tech @ Iowa State, 7:00

FOX College Sports: Steve Physioc, Yogi Roth, Samantha Steele ----------------->

We dub Ms. Steele ... Erin Andrews-Also-In-Waiting.

Louisville @ Arkansas State, 7:00

ESPN3.com: BJ Schaben, Curt Warner

Thought he was on Dancing with the Stars!
(Kidding. Kidding. I know how to spell Kurt Worner's name.)

Marshall @ Southern Mississippi, 8:00

CBS College Sports: Roger Twibell, Mike Leach

Mike Leach has many names. One of them is NOT Erin Andrews-in-Waiting.

-AJ

TNEA of the Month: May

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A moment of silence, for the end of the month-long reign of NBA-TV siren Melanie "Who should be on the calendar cover? Hmmmm...me." Collins. We shall miss thou, and thy rocking body.

OK, moment over. No, seriously, stop ogling those pictures. Moment OVER!!!

Let me help. For your viewing pleasure, May's TNEA: Maria Sansone.

Well, we've gotten plenty of suggestions on who to go with for May's TNEA, and I'm hoping we will get to most or all of them in good time. Definitely some great considerations for a Erin Andrews replacement - not that she needs replacing: you know, we're just looking out for you sideline hottie-loving folk out there just in case.

For this month, we shift from a TV chick to a young lady who's made her mark online. Not many of you may have heard of "PopTub", but it's a Pepsi-sponsored segment on YouTube that makes fun of other YouTube videos. You might call it a version of "America's Funniest Home Videos", except the program is online and only rips material from fellow YouTube materials.

Poptub is entertaining for many reasons (most of them, humor), but the show's host, Maria Sansone, ranks right up there at the top. She's bubbly, a little edgy and risque, funny, fun to watch, and really, really, really, really, really, really, ridiculously cute. She reminds me of a young 'Aunt Becky' from Full House, with perfectly hot hair and flattering makeup, in high definition.

What I like about Maria is that she and her program are, indeed, quite entertaining. You watch the show, you watch the pulled YouTube videos, and it's easy to come back for more simply for the humor. But, hey, nobody would blame you to come back and watch more of HD Maria, too.



Admittedly, what Maria has over Melanie in popularity (there are hundreds of videos on YouTub, most with views in the hundreds of thousands), she lacks in sports-savvyness. There's not a ton of sports-related talk on Poptub: most of the content is devoted to either internet news or to goofy videos like this one. (That's kind of how I stumbled across Poptub, so I thought I'd post it. Not to mention, I have a good friend who, I swear, was that kid about 15 years ago.)

So maybe this is reaching, but give her props for showcasing one of the greatest football-related commercials of all-time: the one where innocent office workers get destroyed by Terry Tate.



What's that? You want one more? OK, here you go, another HD video that makes you kneel down and worship the men and women who created HD. Try not to stare.



If you want to see more, just click on any of the three clips while they're playing, and you'll go right to the YouTube page where you can link to all the other Poptub videos.

Can I get a Terry Tate "WHOOOOOOOO!!!"?

-AJ

TNEA of the Month: April

OK, now for those who actually scrolled down this far and made it past the picture...

April is widely considered the best sports month of the year. Opening Day; NFL Draft; NBA and NHL races heating up; Final Four (love how March Madness has turned into April Absurdity); and of course, the birthday month of yours truly.

Thusly, April deserves a strong candidate for this month's TNEA, or The Next Erin Andrews if you're new to the club. Every month, Tribute will pay respects to a young woman out there, preferably in the world of sports, who just might have the the good looks and good charm to one day take over for the lovely Erin Andrews, should she ever choose to leave her ESPN gig and spend the remainder of her days throwing down the Gator Chomp in Gainesville. Or lusting into the hands of another man in SEC land.

Now, if you had to guess which one of the lovely ladies at the top of this post is the focus of our fawning this month, it'd be tough, now would it? It's a good month indeed; three good candidates right there.

But alas, one must portray more than just babe-like symptoms to take over for EA; experience is a must, too. The blonde on the left is Melanie Collins, of NBA.com League Pass (discovered her during halftime of the Nuggets-Mavericks game), of Big Ten Network (where's your hot correspondents, Big XII Network? What up?) and most importantly, of the Tempe12 models.



Now we love Charissa Thompson, March's nominee. She's also with the BTN. (Seriously, B-dubs, scoreboard. 2-0) But Charissa, the smokin' ex-Rockies sideline girl, doesn't have a lineup of pics like these...

What more can you say? Melanie's a Penn State grad (B-dubs needs a shovel to dig out of this Big-Ten-stomps-Big-XII-like hole) and is our age. Yep, the 22-year-old Nittany Lion graduated last year, and is already working along the likes of Gary Payton, Chris Webber and David Aldridge for NBATV.

Hot damn. Now that's setting the bar high for future TNEA candidates. But we'll do our best, starting again on May 1.

-AJ

TNEA of the Month

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This blog will be mostly reserved for just sports talk, but in the good name of many bloggers and ESPN writers before us (ahem, Matthew Berry), there's gotta be a little risque factor to Bucky and Boomer as well. So we're gonna start up a monthly feature, in which we pay our respects to some woman in the sports atmosphere that might have the goods and the gusto to one day take over Erin Andrews' current post as all-time sports goddess. Nothing against EA - we still love ya up in Wisco - but fads change more quickly than an orderly man's socks, so we must be prepared for Erin's understudy! I call it "The Next Erin Andrews of the Month", or "TNEA of the Month" for short. Well, for kind of short. TNEAOTM just looked weird.

March's nomination (how sad, it's just for a week) is a bit of an obvious one, since many people in both Colorado and Wisconsin know about her: Charissa Thompson, formerly of Fox Sports Rocky Mountain (the Rockies' sideline girl during the World Series season of 2007) and currently of the Big Ten Network and FSN's Best Damn Sports Show Period. She's an obvious choice in that, uh, she's clearly being groomed as one of the top up-and-comers to perhaps one day succeed EA as the loveliest sideline girl of them all. But nonetheless, she dons the first crown for this monthly honor. Check back on April 1st for April's nominee, and we promise you will not be disappointed.

-AJ