Sportsman of the Month: UUUUUUUUUU

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Just, uh, so you know, Bango was April's Sportsman of the Month. Sure, why not. He was my end-of-April blog post, so we'll go with the Bucks crazy, possibly psycho mascot.

May's pick is a little more worthy. And a little more awesome.


Ubaldo Jimenez officially yanked the title of "Best Pitcher in the NL West" from Timmmmmaaaaaay Lincecum on Memorial Day with his complete-game shutout of the Giants. Yes, it was the Giants batting against UUUUU, but still. That brings Ubaldo's April/May line in 11 starts to the following:

10-1, 0.78 ERA, 0.90 WHIP, 2 complete game shutouts, 1 no-hitter, 1 HR against (1!), 26 walks and 70 strikeouts in 80.1 innings

Hey, look at that. I didn't pass out from excitement that time thinking about that line. Chalk that up in the win column, otherwise known as Ubaldo's home.

Do you people realize...

- Ubaldo's own batting average (.097), with just three hits at the plate, is 19 points higher than his ERA? Who's ever HEARD of that before?

- Ubaldo has left 6 games this season with a big fat zero on the opponent's side of the scoreboard? 6 scoreless starts. But hey, let's be fair to Timmy, the man who led the NL in that category in 2009. Of course, he had 7. The entire year. Not just April and May.

- Ubaldo is good at saying "No! No!" and not just against Atlanta? Think how hard it is to string together, say, 10 scoreless innings. Now think about doing 20 in a row. Not quite enough? Okay, let's settle in at 25. Twenty-five consecutive innings - 75 outs in succession - without allowing a run. Now imagine doing it twice. In the same season. Ubaldo's done it. Again, in April and May.

- Ubaldo needs just one more win to equal the Rockies record for wins before the All-Star Break? Feel free to take your time, UUUUUUUUUU, since that won't be for another seven starts or so. (Actually, no, please, don't take your time. The Rox are 17-23 with you in the dugout wearing a Starter jacket.)

- That speaking of which, in UUUUUUUUUU's 11 starts, the Rockies have spotted him 5, 4, 4, 2, 12, 5, 0, 6, 4, 7, and 4 runs? Take out the outlying 12-1 win over Arizona, and the Rox are giving UUUUUUUUUU 4.1 runs per start. Not exactly the '27 Yankees slugging him to cheap victories.

- Only three pitchers in the last 100 years (since ERA was created) have won 10 of their first 11 starts with lower than a 1.00 ERA? Juan Marichal, in 1966, is the only other man besides U to do it since the Great Depression.

- Ubaldo became the sixth pitcher in the last 20 years to win 10 games in April and May? Pedro Martinez, Roger Clemens and John Smoltz are three others. They're pretty good. They went on to win this thing called the Cy Young Award.

- That in 5 career head-to-head matchups, the scoreboard reads Ubaldo Jimenez 4, Tim Lincecum 1?

- That Jim Tracy, usually a well-spoken man, said the following after Monday: "I am beginning to run out of words, really, to describe not only the excellence, but the dominance in which this guy is pitching up to this point. This is just another fabulous start ... what else can I say? Enough said."?

- That Ubaldo will probably still not get that thing called the Cy Young Award because of a certain Colorado native pitching in Philadelphia? East-coast bias is an ugly thing. Of course, the cruel injustice in such a situation would be all those years of national writers making excuses for explosive Rockies hitters playing in Coors Field being swept abruptly under the rug.

Frankly, I wouldn't care. Really, I wouldn't. These have been two months for the ages, and I can't wait to see how much longer UUUUUUUUUU can keep this UUUUUUUUUUp.

Mile High Musings: 11 Denver Points to Ponder

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A banner day in the 303, if I do say so myself. Here are 11 notes from a truly Super Saturday:

1) Ubaldo for Cy. Ya heard it here first. I can't wait to buy his jersey in June (and name my firstborn son/daugher Ubaldo/a Champ Brenner in 2018). Throw in the fact that his No. 38 jersey makes it impossible for me to blow a bucket of money on the roulette tables, and my man-love for UUUUUUUUU is pretty much complete.

2) I've watched the 7th-inning replay about 20 times. And I'm still absolutely befuddled as to how in the world Dexter Fowler caught that baseball. Not quite DeWayne-esque, but pretty damn close.

3) A few friends from here in Davenport and from afar have commented on the somewhat-unfortunate timing of Ubaldo's no-hitter in regards to national coverage, since Saturday was the opening act for the NBA playoffs and featured that 20-inning offensive crapfest in St. Louis. Yeah, too bad he couldn't have the show all to himself. But since I dig on ESPN all the time, I must commend both the Worldwide Leader as well as MLB.com for giving Ubaldo his fair due.

Special shoutout to MLB.com for providing free live look-ins on big baseball happenings such as a no-hitter or walk-off situation. In Paris Hilton talk, "that's hot."

4) Yeah, Ubaldo walked six guys. Big whoop. Wanna fight about it?

Look at it this way: let's say you often frequent the same steakhouse, and you're rarely disappointed. Then one time, you go in there and your waiter presents you with THE PERFECT PORTERHOUSE. This baby is the way steak is supposed to be made; it's the chef's finest moment. Now let's say the mashed potatoes are a little mushy; the asparagus was a touch undercooked; your water was a little too lemony and the waterboy spilled ice cubes all over the table because those damn pitchers don't know how to store ice cubes properly.

You gonna remember ANY of that secondary stuff? Of course not. You're remembering THE steak. That's why the six walks don't matter much to me. Nor does the fact that Ubaldo needed 128 pitches to get through nine. This was his shining moment.

5) One final note: anyone notice who was behind the plate for the no-no? That's right: Miguel Olivo. He's also caught the Rockies to a 4-2 record with a .348 average. Meanwhile, the Rox are 2-3 with Chris Iannetta behind the plate, who sports a .190 average. I nominate the new guy for full-time catcher. My patience with CI is wearing thin.


6) Welcome back to the Roller Coaster Otherwise Known As The Denver Nuggets.

Is this what it's like to date a schizophrenic girlfriend? Can't this team just decide whether it wants to be great or terrible and get on with it? Simmons writes the other day in his ESPN.com NBA playoff column that Utah has a better team, and in light of the San Antonio/Phoenix debacles, I completely agreed at that time. Now I think he couldn't be more wrong after the Game 1 victory. That Utah team cannot score with Denver.

7) Melo offered to Holly Rowe a parcel of the following postgame quote: "...we passed, we played defense..." I only heard those five words. Didn't need to hear any more.

This is an official request to the Nuggets' video coordinator to clip those five words, copy and paste together 100 times in one of those remix tapes, and show it to the Nuggets in their next team meeting until they get sick of hearing it. HAMMER THOSE WORDS INTO THEIR FREAKING HEADS. Pass. Play defense. Pass. Play defense. Pass. Play defense. They do those two things, they CAN and WILL beat any team on the planet. They don't, and they lose to the Knicks, the 76ers, and perhaps even the Butler Bulldogs. That's how these things work. After a nifty give-and-go with Afflalo and Chauncey that resulted in a Double-A 3-ball, Doris Burke (who did a wonderful color job on the game, by the way) pointed out perfectly on cue that in the Nuggets' wins, they average 23 assists; in their losses, 16.

This isn't rocket science, fellas. Pass. Play defense. Win.


8) The fourth quarter spurt is exactly why we're never trading JR Smith. We're stuck with him, or better or worse, through sickness and in health, until death do us part (a couple of 28 percent shooting seasons would do it too)

9) I have zero expectations for these playoffs. And it is pretty darn liberating. A lot less stressful. I wish I could feel more excited about the Nuggets' chances to put it together for six weeks and make a fantastic playoff run. But without George Karl at full pace, we're screwed. This spring of 2010 has completely, 180-degree reshaped my beliefs that NBA coaches don't matter.




10) So the 8th-seeded Avs were 32 seconds away from taking a 2-0 lead back to Pepsi Center. Expect nothing less from those playoff-underachieving Sharks. Either way, it's a great time to be a Denver fan. The proud Avalanche tradition is looking up.


11) Buh-bye, B-Marsh. We hardly knew ye. Don't let the door hit you on your egotistical ass on the way out. Anyone wanna start a "How Long Until Marshall Gets Suspended For Being Shenaniganalicious In South Beach" Pool? I'm in for Week 10 of the 2010 season.



Have a good one.

-AJ

Trivia Answers, New Question

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Four active left-handed batters have more hits than Todd Helton. Name 'em.

Ken Griffey Jr. (2749 hits, as of Monday morning)
Garret Anderson (2,469)
Johnny Damon (2395)
Jim Thome (2129)

(Helton has 2094. Bobby Abreu's on his tail at 2080. The active leader among righties is Derek Jeter with 2701, and Omar Vizquel's 2699 leads switch-hitters)

Albert Pujols now has nine consecutive 100-RBI seasons to begin his career. There are only six active major league players, besides Pujols, with nine 100-RBI seasons in their entire careers. Name 'em.

Thome, Alex Rodriguez, Manny Ramirez, Vladimir Guerrero, Chipper Jones, Carlos Delgado (Junior has 8)

Pitcher A: 141 IP, 10-5, 3.69 ERA, 1.39 WHIP, 125 K, 16 homers allowed in a hitter's park
Pitcher B: 150 IP, 9-9, 3.65 ERA, 1.26 WHIP, 134 K, 8 homers allowed in a hitter's park
Pitcher A makes $16.5 million this season
Pitcher B makes $750,000 this season
Name 'em.

Pitcher A is A.J. Burnett, who needs to be put in timeout along with Jorge Posada
Pitcher B is Ubaldo Jimenez, who has earned the quote from another major leaguer: "If you don't know about him yet, it's your own fault."

And now, for one more trivia question, of the tennis variety:

Name the 11 American citizens who have won a Grand Slam singles title in my lifetime, which dates back to the 1987 French Open. Hint: note the American CITIZEN part.

-AJ