ESPYs picks - from The Artists Formerly Known at 699-201 Mifflin

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Here are our ESPYs picks (and we swear, nobody has looked at the results from last Wednesday...begs the question why the hell they don't just tape it live on Sunday), courtesy of yours truly, my dad David, my next-door neighbor T.J., and Justin Petek, my father's brother's nephew's former roommate:

SCORING SYSTEM
Correctly pick "will win": 4 points
Correctly pick "should win": 5 points
Correctly pick "should and will win": 6 points

BEST MALE ATHLETE
Kobe Bryant, NBA
LeBron James, NBA
Jimmie Johnson, Auto Racing
Michael Phelps, Swimming
Aaron's picks: LeBron James should win, Michael Phelps will win 4
Justin's picks: Michael Phelps should and will win 6
David's picks: Michael Phelps should and will win 6
TJ's picks: Michael Phelps should and will win 6

BEST FEMALE ATHLETE
Natalie Coughlin, Swimming
Nastia Liukin, Gymnastics
Maya Moore, NCAA Basketball
Candace Parker, WNBA
Serena Williams, Tennis
Aaron's picks: Candace Parker should and will win 0
Justin's picks: Candace Parker should win; Serena Williams will win 0
David's picks: Serena Williams should win; Nastia Liukin will win 4
TJ's picks: Serena Williams should and will win 0

BEST CHAMPIONSHIP PERFORMANCE
Kobe Bryant, Los Angeles Lakers
Cole Hamels, Philadelphia Phillies
Michael Phelps, Olympic Swimming
Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh, Olympic Beach Volleyball
Aaron's picks: Michael Phelps should and will win 6
Justin's picks: Michael Phelps should and will win 6
David's picks: Michael Phelps should and will win 6
TJ's picks: Michael Phelps should and will win 6

BEST BREAKTHROUGH ATHLETE
Shawn Johnson, Olympic Gymnastics
Evan Longoria, Tampa Bay Rays
Derrick Rose, Chicago Bulls
Matt Ryan, Atlanta Falcons
Aaron's picks: Matt Ryan should win, Derrick Rose will win 5
Justin's picks: Evan Longoria should win, Shawn Johnson will win 0
David's picks: Shawn Johnson should and will win 0
TJ's picks: Matt Ryan should win, Derrick Rose will win 5

BEST RECORD BREAKING PERFORMANCE
Usain Bolt, Olympic Sprinter
Larry Fitzgerald, Arizona Cardinals
Phil Jackson, Los Angeles Lakers
Michael Phelps, Olympic Swimmer
Aaron's picks: Larry Fitzgerald should win, Michael Phelps will win 4
Justin's picks: Usain Bolt should and will win 0
David's picks: Michael Phelps should and will win 6
TJ's picks: Michael Phelps should win, Usain Bolt will win 5

BEST UPSET
Mine That Bird wins the Kentucky Derby
Oregon State stuns then #1 USC
Tampa Bay Rays win the American League Championship Series
US Soccer shocks Spain in the Confederations Cup semifinals
Aaron's picks: Oregon State should win, US Soccer will win 4
Justin's picks: US Soccer should win, Tampa Bay will win 5
David's picks: US Soccer should win, Mine That Bird will win 5
TJ's picks: US Soccer should win, Tampa Bay will win 5

BEST GAME
Federer vs. Nadal in the 2008 Wimbledon Final
Steelers vs. Cardinals in Super Bowl XLIII
Syracuse vs. Connecticut in the Big East Tournament Quarterfinals
Aaron's picks: Fed-Nadal should and will win and ESPN can go to hell if it doesn't 0
Justin's picks: Syracuse-UConn should and will win (editor's note: pssssh) 0
David's picks: Fed-Nadal should and will win 0
TJ's picks: Syracuse-UConn should win, Federer-Nadal will win 0

BEST MOMENT
Florida’s Tim Tebow’s speech
Helio Castroneves wins the Indy 500
US swim team wins thrilling finish in Olympic relay
Aaron's picks: US swim team should and will win 6
Justin's picks: US swim team should and will win 6
David's picks: US swim team should and will win 6
TJ's picks: US swim team should win, Tim Tebow will win 5

BEST PLAY
Ovechkin vs. Rangers
Pacquiao KO’s Hatton
Roethlisberger to Holmes Super Bowl Winning TD
Texas Tech’s Michael Crabtree makes game-winning catch vs. Texas
Aaron's picks: Roethlisberger should win, Crabtree will win 5
Justin's picks: Roethlisberger should and will win 6
David's picks: Roethlisberger should win, Crabtree will win 5
TJ's picks: Roethlisberger should and will win 6

BEST TEAM
Connecticut Women’s Basketball
Los Angeles Lakers
North Carolina Men’s Basketball
Philadelphia Phillies
Pittsburgh Penguins
Pittsburgh Steelers
Aaron's picks: North Carolina men should win, Pittsburgh Steelers will win 0
Justin's picks: Connecticut women should win, Los Angeles Lakers will win 4
David's picks: Pittsburgh Steelers should and will win 0
TJ's picks: Connecticut women should win, North Carolina men will win 0

FINAL RESULTS
David Brenner - 38 (wins tiebreaker via "should win, will win" picks, 2-1)
T.J. Clayton - 38
Aaron Brenner - 34
Justin Petek - 33

-AJ